I learned in therapy tonight that only I know my truth. It hurts so much for people to judge your priorities and how you are handling a traumatic situation. You are not me, please don't tell me how to act. Everytime I see Mike, I'm brought back to the morning of October 4th, 2023. The fear in his eyes because he didn't know what was going on when his arm went limp and he instantaneously had a severe headache, me screaming at the 9-1-1 dispatcher because it felt like forever for the ambulance to arrive, Michael holding Addie in the kitchen trying to figure out why a police officer was standing with them, kissing Mike goodbye with all sorts of life support not knowing if he'd survive the helicopter ride to Penn. Everytime I see Mike, I just want to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head and cry. Our life we had planned together is forever gone. Not knowing if he'll ever be able to walk, feed, or go to the bathroom by himself is daunting. Yet, I cannot crawl into bed and cry, I have to be strong and help my children have stability, routine, and normalcy. I have to be encouraging and a cheerleader/advocate for Mike. Let me tell you, it's emotionally exhausting. I feel numb most days. I slap on a happy face but promise you I cry once the kids are asleep. My priorities aren't messed up, I am depressed and miss my family and prior life. Please don't judge me because you don't think I'm handling it how I should be.