It's been tough to share how I've been feeling lately.  I have literally been on both ends of the spectrum.  One to two weeks ago I felt like I was good enough to return to work but then the bottom falls out the following day and I'm back to excruciating bone pain.   My body did start to produce blood on its own and I went almost 3 weeks without a blood infusion.  I'm really at loss to say where I am at, is this normal, am I abnormal or am I doing better than expected?   I really don't know.  Lately, I've been limiting my physical activity which seems to help but drives me crazy.  I need to do stuff, but I really shouldn't be.  I'm a bit lost. 

Another difficult question I get is the "How are you doing?".  I could spend an hour going into details, but I know most people are simply looking for a quick "good".  Which most of the time, and especially close loved ones, I don't want to worry them, so I respond with the quick "good".  I don't necessarily want to spend an entire conversation talking about myself either, it's difficult to balance.  Nobody wants to hear "oh I spent the afternoon writhing in pain waiting for my pain meds to kick in", which is a reality unfortunately.

I have some big dates coming up, Monday May 20th I get my 3rd dose of chemo (Jevtana).  June 6th I'm scheduled for another CT & bone scan, and June 10th I will be receiving my 4th dose of chemo.  In between chemo appointments I go in weekly to check my blood counts and receive a shot of Retacrit to assist my body in making hemoglobin.   Depending on my CT & Bone scan results and my PSA number that will determine if I will be done with chemo on July 1st or July 22nd.  This chemo has not been too bad, I notice more towards the end of the cycle when my bone pain comes back.  But thus far only light vomiting and fatigue. 

Ending on a positive note, I've accidently located my dvd series of Grizzly Adams that I bought years ago and never watched.  I'm 4 episodes into the series, this show is by far the best show for an afternoon nap.  Almost better than golf.  

Until next time....