I thought I'd take a minute to update you all. But first, thank you for all the support, kind words and love you have shown us during this long goodbye.  Mike would be so moved to know so many people think and care so deeply about him.

 

Today when I visited Mike, he was sitting up and watching the Twins game. He was still dozing off, but he did answer questions with some of his "Mike", responses... "You need to get your hair cut", "I need to get them all cut", "Are you hungry?, "I'm always hungry".  The fall and surgery did reduce his quality of life, and while he is no longer walking, and still sleeping most of the day, he is still eating and seems to be rallying back.  His hospice team mentioned they will be meeting on October 31 to decide if hospice should continue.  They have been amazing, but I will understand if we are bumped from the service, as Mike seems to have leveled off again.

 

At one point I asked him what he was thinking about... he said nothing. "I have nothing to think about." Which had me thinking. (You saw that coming, didn't you?) We are inundated with mindfulness and living in the present... the now.  I have failed miserably trying to be in the 'now'. Past and future issues, situations, schedules etc. are continuously surrounding the now, always at the forefront of my brain. I see the 'now' as happening because it is part of the succession of my path, coming from the past, and preparing for the future. Mike on the other hand, no longer thinks about the future nor the past. He is completely in the now, All he has is the present. Like a baby, he is 100% dependent on others for his existence. He does not remember visitors, meals or experiences.  Somewhere in this juxtaposition is a lesson... If in the end, you do reach the pinnacle of the complete now...but lose all past and future, is it really a worthy goal?  Everything will change as it needs to. His time here is between his soul and God's plan, which could be in the gentlest way, that being in the now for him is the best place for him to be.

 

Balance in all things of course. If you linger in the past too long,  your life can't unfold as it should, same with planning ahead... we need to keep moving and stay open to all possibilities.  This is a good reminder to me that the hustle and bustle of living, the worry, planning and processing is actually a gift of living this challenging and beautiful life.