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May 05-11

This Week

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As you all may know, we lost our sweet boy on March 18th due to a placental abruption. Due to the pandemic,  our other children couldn’t be at the hospital and Bentley (7 years old) was upset he didn’t see his brother or hold him. 
 
 
Bentley has been so strong, even  helping to cover his brothers grave and making sure to take care of his mommy whose health is still rocky. All he’s asked for in return is a garden for his baby brother. Somewhere he can sit and learn to grieve and heal as best he can. We are barely scraping by due to my health, funeral expenses and being laid off. If you have even a dollar to contribute, it would mean the world to us as we haven’t been able to purchase a headstone either and the bills keep coming in. Thank you and love to you all ❤️ Since so many people have been donating and sharing who don’t know our story, I want to give a little more info. March 17th was my birthday, it was a lazy day and I went to bed early. Around 3 AM I woke up to the most intense pain of my life. I have nightmares about that pain almost every night. Thinking I might throw up, I tried to get out of the bed and go to the bathroom waking up Sean accidentally before losing consciousness briefly. I was in and out of consciousness when he decided to take me to the emergency room and I informed him I couldn’t feel Jack moving. I was 34 weeks pregnant. I ended up being taken by ambulance and he drove his truck there as we were on the way to the hospital when 911 was contacted. Three doctors told me there was no heart beat and immediately all attention shifted to me because my vitals were unstable and indicated something serious. Your hemoglobin levels that indicate your blood levels should ideally be a 12, mine were a 4. By some miracle and some amazing doctors and nurses, I lived, but our son did not. I’m not posting to garner extra sympathy, but to let the people who have so kindly donated know a little piece of our story. He was and is a beautiful baby boy, ten fingers, ten toes, but no time left on this earth. We had an extremely small service due to the pandemic and my sweet incredibly brave and strong 7 going on 35 year old boy asked me if he could put the dirt into the grave. He picked up the shovel and he and his dad closed Jacks grave. I can’t heal his broken heart, we are quarantined into the house (yikes), but I am hoping to give him a way to feel his brother, to know him and to grow through his grief just like his flowers will. If there is money left, we will be using it to clean up gravesites of other stillborn babies and children who need a strong and loving protector like my Bentley. Once again, thank you all. You have no idea how much this means to us.

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