Storytelling 

There’s this story I tell about myself in high school. It was senior year and I was dashing through the halls between meetings with Sue Smith (the principal) in the main office and Florence Rice (student government advisor) in her classroom. We were planning for the pep rally for which I was master of ceremonies as well as an upcoming Board of Education meeting where I was presenting. In my haste I blew right past a new hall monitor, an adult. She started yelling and chasing me demanding my hall pass. It took me a moment to register that she was talking to me. I finally stopped just before turning the corner to look back and confirm it was me being yelled at. She was slightly out of breath and quite irritated at being ignored.  I flippantly asked if I could help her. She glared at me and once again asked what I thought I was doing out of class before demanding my hall pass. I grimaced and said, “Do you know who I am?” Well by now she’d had it. She pointed and said, “office now.” I am sure I rolled my eyes and told her that was where I was coming from and I didn’t have time for this. She could go back to the office and ask Ms. Smith about me but I had actually important things to do. 

Wow. Can we take a moment to appreciate that my ego may have been even bigger than my rear end in that moment?! Rude doesn’t even begin to describe my obnoxious behavior. In the 29 years since that display of nastiness, I’ve learned to be much more humble and respectful to everyone around me. But something remarkable happened to me this past month that made me think of my self-important years. 

When someone in power questions your every move, criticizes and critiques in the name of leadership, and uses every interaction as an opportunity to reinforce their position … my reactions stared to resemble abused behavior. Over the past months I have unfortunately been subjected to just this by a coworker. My humble acceptance and respect for authority, along with my personal tendency to keep the peace backfired big time. 

My high school self woke me up in a dream yelling, Don’t you know who you are?! Then I actually woke up to a TikTok message from my bff sister Missy that said, “Good morning you stunning stack of effing sunshine!” Gosh darned if I didn’t realize that I had forgotten who I am!  I’m tired you see, often drained from just trying to get through each day. This ongoing chemotherapy is keeping me down. I wasn’t seeing the big picture or appreciating what was happening to me. 

Over the past two days, I’ve started swinging my internal pendulum back towards center. I’ve started reminding myself exactly who I am and all the hard work I’ve done over the last 25 years to find my best self. 

2024 is going to be different. This is the year I will start shaping my own life. I will not accept being treated as less than by anyone. I won’t be rude, but neither will I allow anyone to make me little. I will stop apologizing and taking responsibility for other people’s negativity. I am a positive force to be reckoned with. I will bring the best version of myself that I can muster. I will not let anyone diminish my light. Cancer didn’t wreck me and nothing else will either. 

Fix each other’s crown’s friends! When the world is raining - be the rainbow! I love each one of you with a fierceness! What story do you tell yourself about you? If you don’t like it, change the narrative! Take your power and use it for good. I’ll be checking on you soon - you beautiful unique amazing human!!!

Sending you my love!

Melissa