the space between known + unknown, well + unwell. the space between actively dying + actively living. time echoes through the hall that is the space between. it echoes in such a way that you never quite know if it’s been minutes or years. 

but i taste this moment, i hear whispers of wellness. and it is good. 

the world may not understand it, how tides turn when they appear to be going out or coming in. chronic illness is both fierce + fickle. and i have made peace with this. it is enough for me to know that my God is sovereign over death + resurrection alike. it is enough for me to know that He walks with me through the space between. 

so, my update? greetings from the throes of healing + survival. it is beautiful. and the cryptic unknowns keep me coming back for more. more of life, more of learning, more of loving + being loved well in every moment. 

weekly visits to my remaining faithful doctor in the chaos that is today’s world. miraculously my body woke one day able to withstand his treatments + benefit from them. i say “miraculous” because, by all accounts, it really is something entirely uncanny. so are recent wanderings through quiet + crowded downtown streets of tucson. 

am i tempted to question my sanity when my dying body comes to life? yes. because it’s insane + lyme means i’m no stranger to crazy. but also, no. lyme steals enough of my mind without that. and it’s no secret that i worship the God of the impossible. 

it isn’t crazy to come up for air. to laugh + sing + dance. that’s all i’m doing, really. highlighters mark every day of the calendar, alarms ring, salts + tinctures + patches + infusions + medications + oils + movement … timed carefully + followed imperfectly. mostly a stillness. and it is in this gentle rising for air + basking in the sun’s imperceptible ascent, that i find missing pieces. 

this space between is wholeness + health wrapped in unfinished glory. entirely perceptible to the world, a tangible piece of heaven, undeserved but gratefully grasped in both open hands. 

today i made a bouquet out of discarded holiday blooms + discovered a kinship. carefully chosen, watered + sustained, treasured. that’s you too. 

world, you don’t have to understand it. but you can’t deny it … that glory resides here + grace finds us here.