So let’s back up.... 

2020 sucks- everyone knows this. Most know that I had COVID at the beginning of the year. I ended up loosing 12 pounds from Covid and an additional  8. Now my bra’s don’t fit- time to shop!  That is how I found my lump, but it went away- so I thought. I couldn’t feel it after my period had ended and was relieved. But, that relief didn’t last. The next month it came back. Ok. Probably hormones- but it wasn’t going away and the 3rd day of still feeling this lump- I called the Dr. They got me in right away. I had a mammogram right away. I had tons of Drs around me- right away.  I knew- Just like when I had Salavary Gland Cancer- I knew what was going on. I have always been able to read people. I see a persons face and no matter how they try and hide something, I see it. Happy, Sad, Scared- I guess it’s a gift! I see it with passengers all the time. I can tell when a person is flying to see a loved one for the last time or just going to visit a friend for fun. It’s not that hard to pick up on others if you pay attention. 

Anyway, they said they wanted the biopsy done right away- That was Friday, August 28.  I had to wait till Monday. 

The weekend was not bad bc I was distracted with the family. 

Monday came and they did the Biopsy. It was nothing compared to my neck- nothing. My neck they went in boom done. This I had my arm over my head for over an hour. I had to stay in my side. I had strangers feeling me up that weren’t laughing at my jokes. I wanted to get up and walk out. The only one I felt comfort with was the Sonographer. (I guess that’s her title) She was lovely. Kind, funny. She kept me comfortable. She had a little belly and was expecting a little girl. Everyone left us in the room for about five minutes to discuss me or grab back up 🤷🏼‍♀️ That is when I confessed to Erica I wasn’t feeling any of them. She giggled and said yes they are very serious, but great at what they do.  My personality needs humor. It’s how I feel comfortable. It’s how I deal. This was going to be the worst experience. :( 

Then it happened... The Dr that was going to be doing the procedure came in to check a few locations out on me and she mistakenly tickled my armpit. I’m very mature- I busted out laughing which made her laugh. That’s all it took. She opened up a bit to me and we were finally able to laugh and joke. The room was mine. I had no issue with the biopsy. It barely hurt. We had funny moments during and it kept me feeling “normal” Laughter has always been the best medicine. Always!!! 

The pathologist was in the room and he was testing my lymph node. I saw his face- and there it was. Cancer. The Big C. That gross word and my response - O, yeah I know. 😂 No tears.  I think they were shocked I hadn’t cried yet.  This wasn’t my first rodeo just a different stadium. 

My OB called me that night to talk. She makes me laugh. She can be very “cold” and I have heard some say they don’t like her, but I love her. She gets me. She knows me. She isn’t cold with me. She knows how I think. And I loved that at the end she said you call me anytime if you need me. ❤️ That’s what everyone needs. Comfort from Drs. They can’t just be good at what they do- they have to be great. Nurses too. Any medical field. You have to understand the medical field but the bed side manners are the biggest part for most. The compassion. The feeling as a patient that you are the only one that matters. That helps. That is huge. Up to this point, everyone has made me feel that. I am the only one that matters. A waiting room could have a ton inside, but I am all that matters. 😍 It’s helped me. 

My next appointment was Sept 2 with my new Oncologist. Although I have one, he doesn’t master in breasts. 🤪 

My new doc- Dr. S- LOVE her. A neighbor went to her and sent her a heads up. It made me feel VIP. She knew all about me. I’m sure my file did too, but she stayed with me for two hours. I never was overwhelmed. My nurse navigator stayed with me. They decided to inform me weekly of what’s happening. So I am dealing with this week. All the tests. 

The tests.... I put up a good front, but I am scared. I’m scared bc I  am a wife and have an amazing husband. I don’t always show him that, but Phil is. He goes above and beyond. He drives me crazy sometimes and I drive him crazy too. 😂 Marriage! 🤷🏼‍♀️ I am a Mom who’s sons need her. I’m a flight attendant who LOVES her job. I’m a sister and daughter- the favorite (the baby). I am a friend. I have some of the BEST friends in the world. The. BEST!  So I worry about all of them. I worry they will say the cancer spread. That’s my fear. Where else is this germ- this gross thing growing inside me. Ugh get it out. 🙌🏻

I’m progesterone positive, Estrogen positive and Her2 negative. The oncologist called me right away to tell me this “good” news. I guess I did it right! 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

For now I will finish the rest of my scans and plan next week. 

I have to have a COVID test- ugh! Of all the seat I have done that is the one I am dreading- up the nose to the brain 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ 

After that, I meet and discuss a few things with oncologist and surgeon. I am having surgery September 11 for my port. Chemo will be first. 

I was hesitant about September 11. I am in aviation- I shouldn’t have to explain my feelings, but then I looked at it as a positive- how my brothers and sisters of the sky will watch over me. How I am blessed that of all days that is the day they picked. 

Although I have breast cancer, it doesn’t have me! Everything has lined up in a crazy way. I worried about who the boys would have as teachers- that worked out! I worried about will I have to go back to work in October- that worked out. I’m still worried about Fin- when will his surgery be. Will I be able to go? Will it have to be Phil? He would be amazing with Fin, but I am there Mother. He’s my baby- and I am a bit worried, but will I be too weak? Will I be able to handle it? Will I be allowed? I can’t worry about it today -

I’ll worry about it later. 🤪 

I have had a connection with almost all of the Drs and Nurses that I have met. They either know my family, know a neighbor, have met me, or are from my town. It has been crazy finding this out. Such a small 🌎! 

Now, I’m going to finish these tests and relax with my family this weekend. Hoping for a fun weekend with kayaking, fishing, hiking! My favorite things to do, well and having some 🍷🍷🍷 I might not be able to in the future, but I will take one day at a time. 

Just like Fin..... ☘️💪🏻