Mary’s Story

Site created on June 15, 2022

Hi Everyone! I hope everyone is well. We have been receiving a lot of inquires about mom so we decided to open a CaringBridge site to help keep people up to date on mom. For those who aren’t completely aware of what has happened over the past few years to get us here I’ll quickly recap.

A few years ago mom was experiencing some behavioral and memory challenges that were very slight in nature, but for those who know her best were noticeable. We had originally thought it was due to ongoing UTIs that mom frequently gets because of a long term side effect of the cancer she had decades ago. We had no idea that UTIs could have such adverse effects on memory and behavior in seniors. As time went on and these memory issues and behaviors became more frequent and severe in nature we became more worried. Mom advised us in her directive to us many years ago that if she ever was in a situation where she wasn’t able to make decisions any longer that she didn’t want to go through any formal diagnosis for something that was termed terminal in nature, so too date we have tried to grant her this wish. However, as time has gone on we have been told in several occasions “most likely” her symptoms are consistent with a form of dementia. Over the past few years as this awful disease has progressed we as a family have enjoyed her presence, laughed, showed patience and kept her comfortable as her memory loss has gripped her senses and her physical health. My brother Adam and my dad has taken the responsibility of day to day care for mom over the past year and change, with it becoming taxing at times over the past several months. Most recently mom has experienced what is called sun downer syndrome which is a symptom of dementia patients where they deem daytime activities at night and vise versa. So many nights mom would awake thinking that loved ones passed on were coming to pick her up. One night recently mom in her weakened state fell out of bed and broke her leg in 2 spots, resulting in a long hospital visit and an even longer rehab. We were advised that surgery was a risk due to her physical condition but necessary based on the injury. Mom made it through the 4 hour surgery like a champ, but started to develop clots that eventually settled in her lungs and became life threatening. Luckily her care team sprung into action and got to them in a timely manner but her hospital stay has been a long, confusing and taxing ordeal for mom. Her long term prognosis is that she most likely won’t walk again but her strong will still lives inside her as she continues to tackle her rehab.

The results of this latest event has opened our eyes as a family that she will require full time care which is an unfortunate decision all families eventually need to make with loved ones who are dealing with dementia. The toughest thing you have to tell a parent is that they won’t be able to go home again and see that confused, scared look in their eyes. Our faith has always grounded us that mom will be ok, she even has told us not to worry several times. That is who mom is and always been, unselfish to a fault. Mom always told me, live life unselfishly, without fear and in quiet confidence.. and most importantly…have faith. This is how mom is fighting, and will fight till she is called home.

Your well wishes, prayers and visits are encouraged and welcome!

Newest Update

Journal entry by Matt Klingelhutz

Good evening everyone and here’s to spring!  

Time has gotten away from me, especially with respects of writing in here with respect to mom.  It’s been quite the journey where our family has learned more than we ever thought we would about dementia,  the effects on mom and on how it’s touched all of us differently, and truly how un-predictable it really is.  

Mom’s journey is entering the final stage as mom as we knew her as her senses of being present with us and her grasp on reality has faded.  We have known for a few years this day was coming,  but when it happens nothing truly prepares you for it.  The one thing that has surprised us throughout this journey has been through every milestone of loss,  she still reminds us in subtle ways that she’s still present with us.   One thing that brings comfort is that with all the loss,  she seems at peace with her reality,  and that reality has resorted to a time where loved ones who have long been gone she’s brought back in her world where we have thoughts from her describing recent conversations,  reminders of how they were when they were with us…and a joy we hear in her voice when she talks about it.  The tough part has been just how long we’ve had to watch mom go through this…it’s a true reminder at how much the human spirit hangs onto life.  

We continue to appreciate all the support,  especially from moms care team as their dedication to moms care is nothing short of spectacular.  We all applaud their true passion to mom and their dedication at ensuring she’s taken care of and for their explanations to us as she’s reached the final stage of her illness.  

Thanks you everyone!!  


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