It's been a little over 30 days since the feeding tube was added, and it's taking a bit of time to get  used to it.

It's been a little over 30 days since I found out that, yet again, this body doesn't like treatment. The itching began in the hospital and it was thought to be from the pain meds being administered.

But when the welts started at home and the itching became intolerant, I called the oncologists office about using benadryl to at least get through the night.

Ummmm....no. "Absolutely not" I was told. "Walk me through your symptoms and the timeline".

"You are having an allergic reaction to the Immunotherapy".

"We're stopping treatment for the month and putting you on a steroid".  

Gulp.

Stopping treatment, again, because of how this body is reacting to something that is supposed to help.

A little over 30 days later, and the itching and welts have dissipated. The Prednisone is working and I'm figuring out the timing of my "feedings" throughout the day and night.

So, it's time for some personal goal setting!

I want to drive again. Haven't really done it since this summer in the Islands - between the malnutrition of liquids only, the neuropathy in my hands and feet, and the full on feeling of weakness throughout my body, I just have not trusted myself to navigate a vehicle. I want to change that by November 1 - before the snow starts to fall!

It's also time to stop feeling and being weak - time to to get up and go - walking, doing, being, moving, whatever I can do. My legs feel like jello often because of the neuropathy, but so be it. Time to get out of my head and move! 

So today, I finally made a meal for my guys! God Bless my hubby and son for taking on the shopping and cooking over the last few months. I just couldn't do it. But today, I made French onion soup. Yup - held a knife, cut the onions, simmered the broth .... all of it. And, boy did it feel good to see them enjoy it!

As I sit here in the middle of the night getting my own new way of nutrition, I realized that I have ALWAYS wanted to make people feel good. It's why I went into the event business. No matter what you do, you are always creating something wonderful for people. No two experiences are the same. Everyone finds joy in what you have done for them.

Time for me to do the same for me and my family. Time for me to create something wonderful for us. More doing, more being and more joy.

It's been a little over 30 days since we had to make a major adjustment again in this cancer diagnosis. 

Time to stop looking at the 30 day timeline .... as the actor Matthew McConaughey would say:

"So to any of us, whatever those things are: whatever it is we look up to, whatever it is we look forward to, and whoever it is we're chasin'. To that I say: Amen. To that I say: Alright, alright, alright. To that I say:

Just keep livin'."

MAR