Journal entry by Mindy Cairney —
Guilt is a fascinating thing.
GUILT definition- Guilt is a moral emotion that occurs when a person believes or realizes—accurately or not—that they have compromised their own standards of conduct
I have often felt overwhelmed by something like “guilt” these last few weeks...
Since I gave the “green light” to family and friends asking to help us...
Since they started the fundraiser..
Since everyone is doing so much..
Since many of you are wearing t-shirts or bracelets to support Mark..
Since my brother and sister-in-law are here often helping with one thing or another...
Since my friends pop over to help or deliver food or fold clothes or do anything we need...
Since you are wearing stickers on helmets, on cars, on phones or wearing bracelets on your wrists...
Since you are offering rides for Mark or Max to take them where they need to go...
Since many of you are calling and reaching out and sending notes of love and prayers...
Since everything…
I have felt twinges of guilt.
I have felt twinges of guilt.
I know I don’t need to feel this guilt. But being on the receiving end of so much generosity and love is out of our comfort zone, and I’m guessing most of your comfort zones. In the past, when we have helped others or donated money or made a meal, I was SO THANKFUL to the person on the receiving end that they let us help them. I was thankful we could do something to alleviate the stress. I never once thought the person we helped might feel guilty because we were helping them - never once.
So why is giving so much easier than receiving?
So why is giving so much easier than receiving?
I know it is partly because we never picture ourselves in a situation like ours. We pray “that” doesn’t happen to us. I think giving is so easy for most of us - making time to help, donating, making a
meal, praying for others, and helping people in need. That is what we are taught growing up: be a good person, be kind, help others when you can, make someone else’s load lighter, pray, show up. Accepting the help and generosity of others is proving to be amazing yet at the same time... difficult. I have seen how heartbreak brings us together many times. I have seen how amazing our community and those we love near and far will be here for our family and friends. I just naively never thought we would be the ones to need all of this love and support.
Mark and I are both overwhelmed with emotions with everything happening around us - for us. He is a proud, strong, loyal, hard-working man who, in the past, rarely asked for help. He hates being the center of attention and would rather be the strong, quiet guy in the background. So, while I’m working out these feelings, I want to thank you again from the bottom of our hearts for everything and for your continued prayers and support.
We love and appreciate you.
Tammy and family (Mark, Jake, Claire, Max, and, of course, the pups Tim and Dug)
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