Phoebe Joy’s Story

Site created on November 10, 2021

Welcome to Phoebe’s CaringBridge website. We are using it to keep family and friends updated in one place. Phoebe was born on 12/1/21 with a congenital heart defect and CHARGE syndrome. After 2 open heart surgeries and multiple procedures, Phoebe’s heart significantly declined and led to heart failure. Phoebe is now on a heart assist device called a Berlin Heart which we hope will support her until a heart transplant is available. We appreciate your support, prayers, and words of hope and encouragement. Thank you for visiting ❤️❤️❤️‍🩹

Newest Update

Journal entry by Amber Lu

Hi family and friends, 

It has been 6 months since Phoebe went to heaven.  To say these last months have been the hardest of our lives is an understatement. But by the grace of God and all your love and support, we have survived.  Many days we just focus on surviving the next moment.  Grief is a long journey and often we are totally unprepared for it.  We will carry her with us all the days our lives and place our hope in Jesus and heaven.  We wanted to share a brief update about what we’ve been up to in case anyone is curious 💜

- Thank you for all the prayers, texts, calls, cards, visits, gifts, meals, gift cards, and the overwhelming love and support.  We have felt incredibly loved, supported, and reminded that Phoebe and our family are not forgotten.  

- In the spring, we had beautiful celebration of life services in both California and Minnesota.   Phoebe was a California girl, but her roots will always be in Minnesota!  We felt deeply loved at both services and were thankful we could share her with all those who were able to come.  Phoebe will soon have a stone placed at Salem Covenant Church in Pennock, Minnesota near family who were waiting to welcome her heaven.  

- With all monetary gifts, including our own, we made a donation to Stanford Children’s Heart Center, specifically to two of her doctors’ research programs, Dr. Mike Ma (her surgeon) and Dr. David Rosenthal (heart failure team).  We were so proud to donate in Phoebe’s name to support their efforts in medical advancements to save others with CHD.  Both Drs provided a summary of use of the funds below.  Dr. Ma also shared how meaningful Phoebe’s life was to their team and the new method they used for her ECMO to Berlin Heart transition which has been shared with other hospitals!  We are so honored for her legacy to live on in such a tangible way. 

- In May, we both started back at work again.  It has been a difficult transition back to work but it is getting better overtime. 

- In June, we participated alongside friends, family, and a few of her nurses in the annual fundraiser the Stanford Summer Scamper.  Through that fundraiser, we raised $2,600 for the Stanford Children’s Heart Center! 

- We are always thinking of Phoebe and missing her as part of our family.  To bring honor to her life and give us ways to remember her daily, we’ve created The Phoebe Joy Shop with Phoebe inspired designs and merchandise.  We created designs specific to Phoebe’s memory, some with her heart rhythm, others with a special drawing of her heart with its TOF defects that a nurse made for us, designs inspired by artwork from her cousins that we had hanging in her hospital room and more.  We are so excited to wear merch that celebrates Pheebs, and we’d love if you want to join in too! All proceeds are donated to CHD causes (more info on the website).   https://phoebejoy.com/

- On September 22, it was my (Amber’s) birthday and also the CHARGE Foundation (Phoebe had congenital heart disease and CHARGE syndrome) Day of Remembrance.  In memory of Phoebe we put together delicious snack bags with encouraging cards and dropped them off at Stanford Children’s for the families in the CVICU.  We know their daily struggles and that unit will always be Phoebe’s earthly home.  We look forward to more ways we can keep blessing that unit and the families there in the future. 

- October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.  We will attend Stanford Children’s Day of Remembrance on October 2nd, a special ceremony and reception for children gone too soon.  October 15th is World Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, on this day people from around the world light a candle in memory of loved ones at 7pm local time.  We will be lighting a candle for Phoebe and others at 7pm that day, we encourage everyone to participate and send an encouraging text to those parents missing their child.  It means so much to parents to know that you have not forgotten and remember their children who have gone ahead to heaven  ❤️💜💕

In the midst of tragedy and grief, God is still good and his plans are good.  We may not see that truth this side of heaven, but we are confident God has used Phoebe’s story to impact and save many lives.  Some days are harder to believe that than others, but we choose to have faith each day.  God is the same God in times of blessing and in times of hardship and suffering, he is consistent and faithful.  This truth doesn’t change how hard it is to be without Phoebe but it does bring hope. Thank you all for remembering Phoebe and our family.  We couldn’t walk this journey without you.  We may use this platform to give periodic updates in the future if you want to stick around ❤️💜💕

Love,
Amber & Owen

Message from Dr. Mike Ma, Assistant Professor of Cardiothoracic Surgery in Pediatric Division of Stanford Medicine Children’s Health.

Phoebe was very special to all of us here, and this email is a bit challenging to compose. But am honored to be able to provide some comments/insights.

On a scientific and clinical level, we attempted and largely succeeded with a Mechanical Circulatory Support strategy for Phoebe that was a first of its kind, and a substantial step forward in our thinking on techniques for giving young infants the best chance forward when they present with end-stage heart failure associated with complex congenital heart disease. Her overall success with this strategy has already been shared with many other pioneering institutions, most of which seem very eager to replicate what we were able to achieve. On a personal and emotional level, having been given the opportunity to know this patient and family has been both extremely rewarding and bittersweet. Phoebe always had a zest for life, a real tenacious and amiable spirit, and I can only hypothesize that this was grounded in the tremendous amount of positive energy and love that was constantly bestowed upon her, really originated by her parents, and then disseminated to all the people around them. As a Heart Center, we have had many conversations about the model relationship that can exist between providers, families, and patients, and Phoebe is THE quintessential example of that. Although Phoebe’s time with us was shorter than any of us wished, she has and will continue to make a significant impact at many levels, for our field, for our teams, and for each of us as individuals.

The family’s ongoing philanthropic efforts will be directed in this manner, allowing us to push forward in how we support young children with intractable heart failure, giving each future Phoebe a better chance as she has already begun to do.


Message from Dr. David Rosenthal, Director Pediatric Advanced Cardiac Therapies (PACT), Stanford Medicine Children’s Health: 

Many of us in the PACT program were deeply touched by Phoebe and her incredibly loving and patient parents.  It is a testament to their remarkable spirit that they are reaching out to help support the PACT program at this time.  We would be honored to accept their gift and to use these resources to support our ongoing research efforts that include improving availability of donor hearts and increasing post-transplant longevity and wellness.



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