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Apr 28-May 04

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Hello hello hello :) I just completed my 6th weekly Mild chemo treatment earlier today, 6 to go. I have also had 4 harsh chemo infusions in July & August - so I have reached the 75% milestone on the treatment plan. Gonna shed some happy tears when this is completed!!! Will receive a call to schedule the power port to be surgically removed just after Thanksgiving.

Dialing back the chemo to 80% of the dose has been a blessing. I wasn't "expecting" the mild chemo to be harder than the harsh chemo. Its all about managing expectations. Honestly, if you dont have any expectations - it is SO MUCH Easier mentally - you just roll with it whatever it is. I am there now. Not sleeping for two to three days straight. Awake for more than 4 hours on Saturdays recently. These were big improvements because it made me think about why is this the new norm. Is it just chemo? Talking to my Oncologist candidly opened up the door for tweaking the dosage. Much happier on the newer norm. Lesson - be candid with your Doctor - he/she is there to listen and make adjustments as needed.

It's just hard to train your brain sometimes, especially on chemo. They call one of the side effects chemo brain but they dont go into detail and I will spare you too as it is only temporary and I have something to blame it on LOL. I believe it is a side effect from the Steroid withdrawal as there is less of a dose on my current infusions and have coincided when I am going thru my chemo crashes Fri - Sunday. The good news is the mouth sores have been eliminated. My iron levels are slowly increasing but still not considered in a normal range not to mention my white & red cell counts and platelets are low as well. Being anemic is an adjustment because Chemo is poison and you HAVE TO LISTEN to your body when fatigued.

I want to share with you an observation and a willful act that I declined to do in public for several reasons... I was at the Apple Store this past Sunday. Up comes a chatty Petite woman who let everyone outside know that she purchased a $900 watch that Apple screwed up and went on & on & on. I wanted to walk up to her, take my hat off and ask her if she would like to trade places, touting my baldness. I chose not to embarrass her as she was doing a mighty fine job of it on her own. You see this Cancer/Fighter/Warrior mentality changes your perspective on what is really important in life, and I consider this to be a HUGE BONUS. No gray areas, no more bad hair days, no rescuing other people unless I am first fit to do it and it really serves a purpose secondly. Ok, she did go inside, got some personalized help and was engaged on curing her problem. Good for her. End of story.

Enjoy your evening, I love you all as your feedback, comments, prayers and support feed my soul everyday!

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