The Afterword - Day 365

It was approximately 365 days to the minute that I received a phone call indicating there had been an accident, that Lily was hurt, and would be life flighted to St Marys Hospital in Grand Junction.  

Good afternoon LLC….

I have been meaning to update Lily’s Loving Community (LLC) for quite some time.  So many people from home (and elsewhere) have asked me “how is Lily?”  that I have known for some time that I have needed to provide an update.  With this update however, I plan for this to be my last post to Caring Bridge.  In my last post, I remind you of my first post.  I said I’m typically more private than writing on Caring Bridge.  It was never an easy thing for me to so openly share what occupies such a vulnerable place in my heart.  But, due to the interest in Lily’s injury as well as her path to recovery, I agreed to participate and let others share this journey with the two of us.   And I am glad I did.

Firstly, this LLC has been a huge inspiration for me personally.  I remain forever grateful and humbled by everyone’s support through what is, inarguably, the toughest period of my life.  I mentioned once upon a time the breadth of the LLCs presence - coffee gift cards,  coffee makers for my hospital room, gift cards to shops etc in Denver, bracelets and necklaces, offers to stay with friends in apartments / homes, offers to do laundry, countless cookies breads and meals brought to the hospital, meals bought for the staff taking care of Lily, taking care of our home while we both were away, and essentially anything that was needed was done for us.

Last but not least however, there were the prayers, prayers from Lily’s church, from the Valley, from Denver, locations throughout CO and all over the United States, and from various friends and churches throughout the world - I feel these prayers truly lifted Lily up… many who see Lily call her but one thing when they watch her talking, laughing and see her smile… a miracle!  The first time I heard it, I was caught off guard.  Over time, and after hearing it over and over, it sunk in for me too…  The doctors patched up her bones, and then we waited for Lily to wake up.   As I’ve said before, there are no “bandaids” for the brain.  We have to sit back and watch, and see what sort of healing we get and I am so grateful for the path that found Lily.

Yes, without a doubt, she has worked hard.  And yes, she has definitely had support from her family and friends.  Her teachers at Battle Mountain High School have earned a special place in my heart.  Her LLC has never let Lily forget that she is loved, that her struggles are for something far greater than herself.  Her doctors told me that the better the support network, the better the outcomes… you all have certainly played your parts to the letter…

But Lily has exceeded the expectations of her doctors!  She has exceeded them by so very much, over and over.  I believe this is more than just her support network.  I believe it is the thousands of prayers that have brought her a second chance.  And yes, a second chance is right.  One of Lily’s friends from the accident gave her CPR on the roadside and saved her life.  She had passed away and was returned to the living.  I remain so very grateful.

I think back all the time, and I remember so many things.  I remember seeing her MRI for the first time… “these are pictures that are NOT without hope” I was told.  I remember hearing  “while there is no way we can know what awaits your child, I have seen kids with pictures like these who eventually are able to walk out of the hospital”… I remember the day Lily did walk and said she would never go back to her wheelchair… I remember the day she learned to talk again, singing along to “Whiskey Glasses” being played from a speaker gifted by the LLC.  I remember studying at nights with her in her hospital room, studying math from kindergarten books we had bought from Target.  I remember her traveling to the hospital coffee shop and using her LLC gift cards to purchase coffee, spilling it on the way back to her room because her hand was too shaky to carry it.  And I remember… her pulling her suitcase across the lobby as she walked out of the hospital to return to her life again.

I remember her doctors recommending Lily not truly return to school.  “We don’t want her to get frustrated and fail.  We don’t want to ask too much of her, and then have a setback.”  “She will get tired easily from all the stimulation and will become frustrated” they would say.  I remember her first day of school, returning 6 weeks after school had begun.  She went from drawing cartoon pictures in the hospital to taking college level biology.  She was told not to do it.  

Taylor and Jeannine would escort her to school to keep her safe, to help her find her way from class to class, and to help her stay focused.  I watched Lily struggle to remember her classwork at nights as her short term memory would fail her.  But I watched her come home from school, take a break, and then get out her homework and work so very hard to keep up.  I watched Lily’s teachers answer all her questions, be patient with her as she begged for chances to “do over” or do extra credit.  I watched Lily ask her classmates for help, and ultimately meet with her own tutor at nights to keep up.  

I also watched Lily improve.  Over the course of the semester, she went from not being able to find her classes to arranging her rides to / from school, to / from PT.  She was “hand assist” when walking in order to be safe at home.   She went from drawing cartoon characters to learning Mendelian genetics and intracellular physiology.  Lily knows how to persevere and how to struggle.  This is possibly her strongest attribute, and the one for which I am the most proud!  This attribute is not a gift that you are born with, but one that you develop for yourself because something is important to you.   In the Spring semester, she took approx a 75% course load and again made all As.

She had a surgery planned for the Summer of 2022 and pushed it to this past Christmas 2021.  The bones of her pelvis had healed far sooner than the doctors had expected and Lily was ready to remove her hardware.  Once recovered from her surgery, I watched her do PT and try to get her muscles to “wake up.”  Some of her muscles seem not to receive the messages her brain was sending, which markedly changed her mechanics of running.  As a result, she was prevented from running for nearly 3 months, until becoming strong enough.  She finally resumed her training and last week, in a time trial, I watched her run 7:04 for a mile on the track.  I had asked for an effort level of 8 out of 10, but true to Lily behavior, she ran at 10 out of 10 and  when finished, I had to console her because it wasn’t fast enough.

This Summer, she is working at the Cordillera golf course in the pro shop, and learning all the things the rest of us take for granted about having a job.  She has continued with her tutor and will take the SAT in the fall.  She has returned to training with her high school team and hopes to score in a meet this season.  She will go to high school as a 12th grader this fall and will plan to graduate on time.  By next fall, she will be off to college.

I am so incredibly proud of my daughter!  My love and respect for her has continued to grow as I watch her overcome taller and tougher hurdles.  I don’t know what is in store for Lily for her lifetime, but there has to be something phenomenal, a greater purpose.  Since the day she was born, I would whisper in her ear as she would drift off to sleep, “you are special, and you will do special things one day.”  While I know this to be true, I have yet to determine what this will be.  

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all those who have helped Lily along this path and to those who will be there in her future.  Festina Lente my daughter - there are great things that await you…

I love you!

Dad