I hope all is well with you. I’m feeling like it’s the right time to wind down communication via CaringBridge but I think I have a few more posts in me. Here are some updates from the last few months. 

Isaac (18) graduated in May and has been working in IOWA for the summer learning to paint houses and saving for a six-month stint with YWAM (Youth With a Mission) in Australia. Liv (16) is going to be a junior at Millikan High School and is learning to drive. Duren turned twelve last month and is as energetic as ever. He will be entering the 7th grade in the fall. Jia Jia (11) will continue her special ed program; her teachers love her and she made t “Student of the Month” before the semester ended. We’re counting the days until her next surgery (No. 2 of 4), which is scheduled for August 16.  

My landlord has decided to sell his house in December so we need to relocate. I’m not sure where we’re going to land yet, which is a bit stressful. If you hear of any rentals in the Long Beach area, please float it my way: . I’d like to stay in the area at least until Jia Jia’s final surgery happens, which I am estimating will be in March 2023 in Los Angeles. Laurel and I have worked for a while with this medical team and would prefer to stick it out with them. 

I personally feel Laurel’s absence every day. Some days it still doesn’t seem real but it is. The reality of her absence  is less emotionally charged than it used to be but it's ever present. I find it more helpful to learn to live with that reality than avoid it. Just yesterday as I was working through the attic I discovered clothes that Laurel had put away for Jia JIa when she became the size currently is. Thank you babe! I am washing them now and I am excited for Jia JIa to try them on.  Laurel was always thinking ahead especially if it saved us money!  Things like this happen all the time as I am clearing out stuff to prepare to move. It reminds me of how much forsite she had and how I would always encourage her to label things more clearly. I think she laughs that I have to open all these boxes to see what's inside. 

Finally, if you didn't know, my parents started declining a few months before Laurel’s cancer diagnosis. They were in the care facility of their choice in Portland, OR, but my sister has been their primary caregiver and lives in Minnesota. We moved them to Minnesota two months ago so my sister can take better care of them. She has been amazing through all of this. 

Inheritance of Hope flew our family out to Orlando Florida for an all expenses paid vacation. During the morning hour I met with other widows and widowers. There were also classes for kids based on age. In the afternoons they treated us to the local theme parks. It was nice to have such a special time together and create memories as this “new” family. Our trip was originally scheduled while Laurel was alive and I did catch myself a few times looking for her. It is hard to break a 20-year long habit. It was a bittersweet trip to have new memories without her. Even the children commented a couple of times that “mom would have loved this.” 

One of the great parts of the trip was to finally meet some of the other widows and widowers I knew through our weekly virtual group. We all were able to spend time together at different points through the weekend and when your life is turned upside down there is something about hearing stories of others that are experiencing similar things. I included some photos of the kids at graduation, school dances and some from our trip to Orlando. 

Let’s keep in touch:

Matt Swaney

Cell: 562.822.5997 (call or text)

Email: swaneys@mac.com