Today is a good day! 🎉🍾🥳

Yesterday I went for my swallow test and passed! 🥳 If you were wondering what is involved in one I will enlighten you now. They first have you take tiny sips of water to see if you are able to swallow. If you can, that’s when the “fun” begins. Next you get to swallow barium in a thin consistency while being x-rayed. If it goes down the right way (to your stomach) you get to level up to “honey” barium.  Basically they just thicken up the barium each level till “pudding” which is really gross. They also have crackers but my doctor didn’t say I was allowed to chew yet so I didn’t try those.  I barely got the pudding down because it was so nauseating.  I left there having passed and an ok to have puréed foods 😎
Today I saw my ENT to take out the feeding tube and trach. The feeding tube coming out was not pleasant and I gagged, choked, and turned three shades of purple.  My doctor was pleased with himself having removed it and was gung-ho to do the trach. I needed a minute after the roto-rooter job. 🥴  The trach came out so easily it was a little scary. But now I have no more tubes!!!  So now I have to actually think about feeding myself which is weird after six weeks of doing nothing. It’s a slow process eating and drinking since half of my tongue doesn’t know what to do. 🤪The doctor cleared me to chew but it’s harder than it sounds.  I will just have to practice 🙂

I did get some bad news this week☹️  They had another pathologist review my stuff and he saw a spot on a nerve between my tongue and lymph nodes where the cancer has infiltrated. My doctor took my case to an oncology conference where many physicians reviewed it. They all recommended radiation ☢️ to ensure all cancer is gone.  Not what I wanted to hear at all!!  🤬 While I’m glad someone caught it I’m also terrified of radiation 🙀 I’ve read about the side effects and damage to other healthy tissue, bones and teeth.  Knowing that,  I will do whatever I can to make sure I stay healthy.   I have a consultation with a radiation oncologist tomorrow afternoon and according to my ENT their plan is to start treatment mid July ☹️  I am also considering a consultation with a doc at MD Anderson. I don’t know that the outcome would be any different but what if it is? It’s so hard to know what to do.  I’ve had so many physicians review my case now is there really a need?  Also time is of the essence.  Can I pull a rabbit out of the hat this week?  Seems unlikely.  What would you do in this situation?
 Sometimes it’s like this is happening to someone else. I almost prefer it that way until the day of the surgery or procedure comes. My dad had radiation with his prostate cancer and he seemed to take it with such grace. I wonder if I can do the same 🤔