Today marks 6 weeks since my surgery and 11 weeks since diagnosis. I am now clean from all medications minus Tylenol and ibuprofen. I wasn’t prepared for the latest obstacle which was weaning off pain meds. I am a strong woman with a lot of will power and determination and this one was brutal. I felt like I had the flu for a week. I also had to just sorta guess when I was ready to get off of them. Thanks to the mean pharmacy tech, it jump started me into action. My doctors and home healthcare providers didn’t prepare me for this transition. Thank you to my sister, Debbie, she walked me through how to detox and wean off. 

There are so many reflections: such as the empathy I feel for addicts and what got them there in the first place, the privilege I have to even be able to reflect and ask these questions in the comfort of my home and belongings, how does one trust that the pain will not get too intense, how do you sleep after being used to pain meds lulling you into a land of numbness and comfort, how do you distinguish flu symptoms from surgery pain, and why the hell did my other aliments have to come back (foot pain and sneezing)? And so many more. 

Overall, I am continuing to make progress.  Going off pain meds made me feel like I was taking steps backwards both physically (I can feel so much more than I had) and emotionally. Each day gets better though and yesterday I did more than I have done since the day before my surgery. I have started to drive again and soon I will be able to swim in the pool with my kids.  

Summer is wonderful but it’s a weird adjustment back into full time parenting. The kids are busy at the pool with swim lessons and tennis lessons. Then it’s Volleyball and Pacific Science Center camps and hopefully a trip somewhere before the school year starts back up and Erica starts middle school. Alder did a nature based camp last week that I wish he could be in every day this summer. This boy has taken to his name. Joseph has been able to breathe a bit better now that I am more functional. 

I want to add some more “thank yous”to this post. My dearest friend Neil who is currently over in Europe has been so fabulous and wonderful and supportive every day. He brings me tons of love and emotional support. He has known me so long, there aren’t many barriers to our friendship. Thank you, my friend! ❤️

There are so many people who have offered so much love and support and to all of you, I draw on that love and support every day. I have really needed it. 

And so, here we are. 

More updates in time. 

With Love, Laura