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Apr 21-27

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Good morning to you! I am touched by the many visits to read my journal,  of the last week of my sons life on this side of heaven. While I remain on this side of heaven, the year has been all that is good with a few valleys That grabbed a hold of me at very difficult stages  of my grief with processing it. My truly best advice is to do just that !  Take every stage of grief that you go through very seriously, I wanted to still  experience every thing I needed to go through so that I would understand and know how to go throughout the remainder of my life  knowing and understanding how to take care of myself and not let grief swallow my soul. , I place special little items or pictures in all the places of my home that I love.  Some people don’t even realize what their messages is to me or that they have anything to do with Lance. But try it, 
every place you love ,place items that connect your child ‘s present with as many memories as possible. Later some of those memories will add more memories to the reminiscing part of your day.  At this stage of Lances‘s condition in the hospital on March 2, 2018 I had no idea that that day would be our last. Or that that night would be the last time That we would hold hands and pray together for every ounce of hope we had running through our bodies.,  but I do remember Lance  when I told him , if it was too much for him to ask Jesus to take him home. 
 I remember the next morning ..... A team of doctors wanted to talk to me . I had Left Lances room about 430 in the morning to go down to the next level where the trauma unit was and take a nap in the area that I had claimed as my own in the waiting room,  still very early in the a.m. I took off upstairs! As the doctors began to talk to me a few extended family members showed up. And I invited them in  to listen to what the doctors have to say. There was yet to be another procedure to try with Lance… It was literally our last hope for Lance to remain with us.   There was a huge risk yet could come with huge recovery. So I gave the consent and they began to prep or what was going to blow our minds !!!

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