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May 12-18

This Week

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My recent MRI and PET scans brought a mix of news - encouraging yet tempered with the reality of my condition. They showed no evidence of metastasis at this time—a cause for celebration in itself—but also revealed something unexpected and yet hopeful. The original eye tumor, which stood tall at 9.5 mm at the start of this ordeal, has now shrunk significantly to just 1-2 mm!

Prior to the scans, I experienced an intense scare—sudden strange and extremely uncomfortable & unexplainable symptoms, accompanied by alarming bloodwork results. In those days of waiting for the scans, fear loomed large, and I found myself mentally preparing for the worst.  Although it was not easy, I once again held onto a thread of faith, trusting in God's plan even when the path seemed unclear.

These latest scan results and improvements on repeat bloodwork, while encouraging, comes with a stark reminder from my ocular oncologist. Despite the significant reduction in the size of the primary tumor, the chance of metastatic disease remains unchanged. This type of tumor, as explained by my oncologist, spreads through micro-metastasis in the bloodstream early on, regardless of the primary tumor's size or response to treatment.  In addition, by biopsy results put me in the highest possible category of risk for spread.

I can't help but rejoice in this news, for each clear scan is a victory, a whisper of hope amidst the storm. However, the reality remains stark—living with the high-risk classification of my tumor means embracing a life divided into three-month segments. It's a rhythm of planning, waiting, and hoping anew with each cycle. The oncologist's words echo in my mind, labeling me as rare amidst the statistics. It's a double-edged sword, a reminder of both the uniqueness of my journey and the challenges it entails.

As I navigate the complexities of battling cancer, I've learned to lean on God's unfailing love and draw strength from His promises. On my darkest days, when fear threatens to overwhelm me, it's my faith that sustains me. I find solace in prayer, seeking God's guidance, comfort, and healing touch.

In addition to conventional treatments, I have been actively pursuing alternative means to bolster my immune system and fortify my body in its fight against cancer. The shrinking tumor size is a testament to the effectiveness of all the treatments I have done and continue to do, and the resilience of my body and the answer to so many prayers! 

As I pray, I am now asking God to daily fill me to overflowing with the Holy Spirit (thanks Ashley for this reminder). It's through this divine strength that I find the courage to face each challenge with resilience and hope. I believe that even in the midst of this storm, God has a purpose for me, and I strive to glorify Him in every step of this journey.

Each day I am given is a reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing every moment. The upcoming scans in three months are a reminder of the journey I'm on—a journey marked by faith, resilience, and a deep trust in God's plan.  I'm grateful for every clear scan, every moment of respite, and every ray of hope that shines through the clouds of uncertainty.

As I prepare for the upcoming scans in three months, I do so with a heart filled with faith, resilience, and a determination to keep fighting with every ounce of strength I have.

With unwavering faith and hope,

Kristie

Proverbs 3:5-6

Psalms 121:1-2

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