I started this blog because I need some help and I dont know what to do I wanna start off by saying I have never been able to keep a relationship because of my jealousy issues it's really bad and all honestly it's maybe gotten worse........... So to start off I've had bad past relationships my mama passed away been on drugs been there done that but recently 3 months ago I fount a wonderful man who would bend over backwards to make me happy and to make sure I had everything I needed. I was jealous of him (had no reason) to be because he never gave me a reason to be jealous he has two kids who i love but also was a little jelous of maybe its because im not a parent but i just felt that he already had a life with them so i was just maybe a pass throw or something. The kids mother never started drama she has her own life going with another man so there was never flirting going on its was all about the kids when it came to their conversations. Not only that I was jealous if a woman walked by I was so scared he was going to look at her not only that tv as well. After time went by the anger turned into jeoulousy and i started putting my hands on him yes i openly admit that but thats not me and thats not acceptable i don't want to be like that and he doesnt deserve any of that i have talked with a therapist and was told i have borderline persoaity disorder havent got to offically take classes to get treated because not enough funds but still this isnt an excuse for everything I have done im just wanting to share this because i really do love him and i really want some help i need someone who is maybe going through the same thing to talk to i need god in my life who i admit i need help getting him in my life i dont wanna be like this amymore because of my actions he has broken up with me and we were staying with his parents they kicked me out but since we had plans on getting a place maybe if i can fix this now our plans can still happen and we can fix this and in time his family could forgive me but i love him and his 2 kids and i need some help with this sorry if anything is misspelled or don't sound right i was crying while typing this.