Dearest Friends and Family,

This will be the last post to this site.   I wanted to inform everyone of the actual cause of Kim's death and to share some thoughts I've been left with during the holidays.

The day before Kim passed, she was diagnosed with an extremely rare disease called amyloidosis.  This disease occurs in 10 out of a million people, and occurs in men twice as often as women.  So about 3 women out of a million people will be diagnosed with amyloidosis.   This disease causes the proteins that are produced in your body to be malformed producing clumps of misshapen proteins called amyloids.  These proteins move though the bloodstream and attach to the cells in various organs rendering those cells inert.   Based on the biopsy that discovered the amyloidosis, Kim had been effected by this disease for at least two years.  In her case, the symptoms mirrored those of a bile duct blockage.  To make it worse, when they checked they actually found a blockage in her bile duct.   So it was logical to assume that her symptoms were caused by a blocked bile duct.  Other symptoms of amyloidosis mirror those of malnutrition.  We all thought that once the bile duct was cleared and she felt better and started to eat normally, that she would recover.  It was not until the day before her death that we learned the real cause of her illness.   Amyloidosis is so rare that no one thought to look for it, and even if they had, it would have been too late to change the outcome.  

Over the holidays I was faced with the realization of all of the things that we had done for the last time.  I took a few minutes and tried to capture those thoughts.  Below is my attempt at putting those thoughts down on paper.

The last time.  For everything there is a last time.  Sometimes you know it’s the last time, but most of the time, you are unaware.  Think about that book your child wanted you to read every night.  One day they will go to bed without that book, and you don’t realize that you have read that book to them for the last time.  

On Christmas morning I watched my grandson unwrap a Christmas ornament of one of his favorite cartoon characters.   It was the last Christmas gift my wife ever bought.  I watched as he proudly placed it on the tree beside an ornament of another character from the same cartoon.  That too was a gift from his meh-maw Kim.  When she bought that ornament, she had no way to know it would be her last gift to her grandson.  I had no way to know I’d watch him open it without her. 

This season has been filled with so many last times.  The last time she sang beside me in church, the last time I heard her voice in the choir.  The last time we ate out.  The last time we went to a live jazz concert.  The last time we laughed.  The last time we kissed.  In every case I was unaware that we had done something for the last time. 

My advice to you is cherish every day and don’t wait.  When you hug someone do it like it’s the last time. When you celebrate do it like it’s the last time.  When you are immersed in the everyday remember it may be the last time.  

Don’t wait.  Do all the things.  That restaurant you wanted to try.  Try it!  That place you always wanted to visit.  Visit it!  That vacation you want to take.  Take it!  You never know when it will be too late.  You never know when it will be the last chance to do those things. 

My heart is full of the many wonderful memories I will always have of my dear Kim.  I am glad we did many of the things we wanted to do and saw many of the things we wanted to see.  But there are a few things we put off, or just never got around to, and I regret that those things will now forever be undone. 

My advice to you is to not allow the pressure of the everyday to prevent you from doing the important things.  Life is short, and you never know when it will be the last time.