Forgive my atypical approach to giving a eulogy.  As many of you know, I have acquired my mom's gift of gab and wordiness.  Ha!  As such, to prevent sore pew-laden bottoms, I have elected to print this out.  My ability to write FAR supersedes my abilities to speak.  My recount comes in parts.  There is much to narrate/communicate, for my mom was an incredible human.  Get comfy.

Part 1: Mom's story

Kimberly Faith Flatin was born on Sept 4, 1958…the first child of Arnold and Allene (Tripp) Flatin.  Grandma reports she was a good kid- a fearless child...a climber.  And not too long after mom, her first brother Rhan joined the trio, and then a long while later, Trevor.  She attended Spring Grove (MN) schools, and graduated in 1977- one amongst a whopping 43 classmates…following a Dec wedding to my Dad, Craig…and the delivery of the first of us- Kipp…who she happened to be going into labor with...the day before her HS graduation.  Babies having babies.  Christopher was born Aug 1979, me in Mar 1982, and Kendra in May 1983.  4 kids by 24 yo.  Can you imagine?! 

Until there were 4 of us, Mom would stay home with us in the am and then head off to work pm shift as a patient care assistant at the local nursing home.  To supplement income further, a small traveling art business (with her best friend Cathy and their woodworking husbands) blossomed into fruition.  It would include wood burning and paintings- usually Nordic-inspired gnomes or trolls, and cross-sectional stumps/signs with wood-burned family trees or wall hangings with last names.  They named it 'Once upon a Tree,' and although they loved their products, the business was short-lived; Mom hated the business side of things...and let's be honest- who had time for that?

Then at just 27 yo, her Dad abruptly passed away from an undiagnosed acute leukemia; Trevor was still in HS, and Rhan, at 24 had thankfully returned home from being abroad just weeks before his death. Mom had just finished her first semester of her nursing education at Viterbo College.  But she forged ahead- as there was no task too big for this mama of 4 littles, no money but a community, a hard work ethic, and some grit.  She learned that from her mom (grandma Allene)- who was her rock in mom's life- setting a “chin up” example.  No slouches in this family.  Work hard.  No giving up- make it work.  No, you wouldn’t ever see her play the “card.”

Mom was a super hard worker and did her best to give us all we needed and then some.  She was adamant we all had proper swim and piano lessons, of which we are all now so grateful- thanks mom.  Mom managed to handle a household/4 kids in school/lessons, and working, while taking her nursing courses- often studying for hours.  It took 7 yrs, a boatload of patience, and more grit to achieve her BSN from Viterbo college (at the age of 34), graduating second in her class.  Thankfully she had a village to help with her kids, while she chased her dream of becoming something better for her family- with stable paychecks…something her art and less than stellar business skills could not provide.  Mom was insistent she take on a career in which she didn't need to rely on anyone, not even a spouse- a lesson she would share with each of us as we grew up and chose our own career paths.  She enjoyed nursing though, and had a wonderful 28 yr nursing career, near all of it at Mayo Clinic.  Her areas of nursing included surgical recovery, dialysis, infusion therapy, data abstraction, and utilization review…until her diagnosis of ALS last year.

As I think back to this time in my own life, I don't remember mom being around all that much...but I DO recall mom reading "all the time," and taking baths FOREVER (likely 30 min)- obviously to escape the chaos if for just a moment.  She actually chuckled when I told her I recalled such memories- and then she confessed she used to open the drawers in the bathroom so no one could get the door open.  (I'm kind of surprised that stopped us, honestly.)

My parents then divorced when mom was 41 yo- Kipp was in college and Kendra was in 8th grade.  It was another hard time.  Mom turned to all the things that brought her joy- her ever expanding family, church and singing, and her true passion- every kind of art.  She never remarried or even really dated, as her hands and heart were full with her favorite things. 

Mom loved her family more than all things.  She lived for the latest story and shared it with anyone who was in earshot, likely more than once.  She’d replay her favorite saved video of one of the grandkids doing something funny…or adorable…or musical.  And with 13 grandkids…and Christopher, there was ALWAYS something to share.  Mom loved each of our spouses like her own.  Sarah would evolve into her confidant.  Jamie often got the most quirky, random gifts at Xmas- something nerdy or sciencey/Star Trek.  Buying things for all of us filled her cup, that’s for sure.  Some of my favorite times w mom as an adult was around each Xmas- Kendra/Sarah/Danae and I would get a 1:1 day with mom shopping for our families for her gifts.  We’d take all day savoring the coffee breaks and uninterrupted snacks/meals, while indulging in unpressured retail therapy.  Us girls (and mom) SO looked forward to that Xmas tradition.

Family aside, Mom's passion for art of all kinds kept her busy and brought her joy…however it was her incredible talent that touched the lives of so many others.  She was ALWAYS doing SOMETHING. So she would doodle…endlessly.  Or felt or sew or draw a picture for one of the grandkids to color on the spot.  Or make banners for church.  Or paint or wood burn.  Or strip and redo furniture.  In fact she was so talented I would ask her to recreate some artwork I’d seen and she could- anything!  She shared her gifts in the form of over 15 Church banners, 13 coloring books, wood-burned works, paintings, felted treasures (like tooth fairy holders or wall hangings for our kids, my family xmas stockings, neat pot holders, etc), and she made the BEST birthday gift name labels. 

In addition, but along those artistic lines, mom shared her love of singing.  She carried the congregation as a lead choir vocalist at her church (St Johns), but she also sung & played guitar at quite a few weddings/funerals over the span of many years...in all her spare time.  Everyone knew mom had some pipes- especially at Easter time when she sang those high notes (we used to call them 'screamer notes'). In high school, I would cringe with embarrassment as she belted with elation, of Christ's rising...though later we would all follow suit (in our respective focal ranges).  

What else may you not know about her...

She loved:

And then the diagnosis of ALS came when she was just 62 yrs old, which was a surprise to us all.  But Mom had a great attitude during this whole last year.  With our medical backgrounds and therefore required crude sense of humor, we laughed on a regular basis.  I will never forget when she was told she had ALS, Jamie and I were sitting there with her...even the provider had this devastated look on his face giving us the news with prognosis of probably 6-12 months.  Mom's response?  "Thank God I will never have to do another CPR renewal class again."  And she was even more grateful when the dietician said, “eat whatever you want- have pie for breakfast," for there are always silver linings when you look.  Mom was always a grateful person.  Even after the garbage diagnosis, her approach was “it could always be worse” and “what CAN I do” as an every day motto.  She blew us away with her incredible ingenuity and trouble shooting until the very end- noting she actually was still finding a way to doodle until about 2 wks before she passed.

Part 2:

See?  If I was standing at the podium and said, "Part 2," I would likely see people get up and leave, or go get a snack!  I was worried there'd have been a teleprompter telling me my time was up and I must now leave the podium or the music will start back up.  

Now that you can appreciate her incredible bite-sized life story, I am wanting to now share my reflection with her as my mom...

My thoughts in life..."If my mom could do it, so could I."  I grew up quick and learned early to be very independent since there were 4 kids and our parents worked outside the home.  I felt empowered to be independent.  I was loved and guided, but not told (unless I was caught dragging my sister around inside a tied up garbage bag...pointing out 'if she could talk, she could breathe'...KARA!  I've maybe heard once or twice).  In HS, I would tell my mom I was skipping school, and she would huff and say, "fine, but if they call me, I'm not going to lie for you."  They were open minded and supportive...unless I was talking about tattoos- mom hated them...so I got one at 18 yo- totally random garbage I would only recently ask her to modify to make it more meaningful/beautiful (appt with tattoo artist to be scheduled).  :)

Mom would give/do anything for her kids...you just had to ask.  She wasn't the grandma that offered to take the kids, clean my house, or cook us a meal, BUT she was always there to help when I needed her...though she'd ask for a reminder about something (even if it was taking place tomorrow).  I am forever grateful for her- watching my girls on a regular basis when I couldn't get out of work, or hunkering down for days so Jamie and I could escape to a conference.  She'd be there.  She'd never complain or tell you how to parent.  She didn't care that my house was/is a constant disaster (well...it could have been that it was a genetic thing).  Her response to my parenting/life woes was, "yup, I had the same thing..." - which I never found helpful as it offered little condolence...and instead favored that "chin-up" approach.

So many daughters want to be like their mom when they grow up- but honestly?  I didn't.  Pregnant during her senior yr and married because of it at 19 yo; pursuing a "second place" career (taking longer than most since she had 4 kids at home); with a divorce at 41yo.  She was SO TIRED.  Growing up with a bird's eye view, she honestly seemed weak to me.  After the divorce, she was just trying to power through the tough emotions.  Long overdue, she lost herself in her hobbies...despite Kendra and I being still home.  It felt like she couldn't be what I needed her to be at that time.  She stopped taking care of her health, and that frustrated me, especially since she knew better; she was smart.  No excuses.  I, so badly, wanted her to just put her foot down and stand up for herself in a vocal way, like I imagined I would have with my strong personality...why couldn't she?  Don't get me wrong- as a young adult, my opinions/feelings at that time were misplaced and selfish, like most teenagers.  There was a warm house with food in the pantry, occupied by someone who loved me.

But since mom's diagnosis, her story-relative to my memory/understanding, has taken on a completely new light.  My life hit a pause button.  With intention, we recalled events of her past and the pieces of the puzzle came together to unveil a priceless reflection.  As I drew upon memories without context, mom filled in the details, improving the accuracy and clarity to the memory offered.  As such, she has left me with a renewed vision of her; and I am so incredibly grateful I had that opportunity to really SEE my mom.

Funny thing is, while I did not intend to be "just like mom," many similar habits/tendencies/qualities have evolved over my life thus far.  I have been known to have sedentary hobbies, work in healthcare, AM SO TIRED, don't care for myself like I should; maybe have been known to eat a brownie in a private space or over the sink.  I'm independent, raise my kids in a hands-off-figure-it-out way, keep the house in the same disarray I grew up in, love to read, have creative tendencies though could never master anything even remotely to the caliber she exhibited.  I enjoy being alone, and am known to be a loyal friend/worker.  I now reflect on how much I actually DO want to be like her- taking the high road- not to be caught up in drama, or share gossip and details about what does not concern me.  I want to do what I love, give as much as I can, and continue to plow through life in "chin-up" fashion.  And I thank her for this legacy.

Man, I will miss her, but I know her spirit is here.  I already see her everywhere.  I can hear her scold Christopher about his habits and latest wardrobe hack.  I can hear her tell Kipp he should come home and visit more, as time gets away from us all and family is important.  I can hear her calmly coach Kendra about how she could share her beautiful singing gifts even more.  I can hear her disclosing the implications of black mold, explain for the umpteenth time what poison ivy looks like, and tell me my latest "fashionable" hair or outfit choice was (pause), "interesting."  I can hear her say, "I'm so proud of you, (enter grandchild name)," as she rejoiced in their each success --> noting each and every one of her 13 grandchildren "are awesome people."  I can hear mom celebrate us kids and all of our accomplishments, as well as that of our spouses; for Mom took great comfort knowing we had all built stable, happy, and even successful lives, in partnership with incredible individuals – Danae', Sarah, Jamie, and Brad.  Her spirit and legacy will live on in each and every one of us.