Time has marched on and it has now been 11 years since cancer stole my father's last breath. Last year for the 10th 'deathaversary,' we spent time together at Cape San Blas with the Buuck family remembering him and his love for the beach. The beach in October is lovely, and it was sweet time together. Last year's deathaversary was an interesting day of death and life for me, because that is the day I found out Ron and were expecting our miracle baby! I had a fertility surgery last summer, and we'd been doing fertility treatments, waiting and hoping, It just so happened that while we were on the trip, it was the window to test to see if our latest treatment cycle had been successful. My thought process about testing on that day was, "Well, if it's negative, I'm already expecting to be sad about Dad, so nobody will know any different." After a number of disappointments, I wasn't really expecting a positive result, so I was truly stunned that morning. 

Fast forward to today, and I was holding our son in my arms, telling him about his late grandfather as we all watched a family photo montage video together. I wish my father could have had the joy of knowing our son and being a grandparent. What grieves me the most these days is all the things my father is missing and realizations about future things he will not be part of.