All of the appointments and testing have made me anxious and a long list of what if’s have been circulating in my mind over the past two months.  I was especially dreading my visit to my ObGyn this week.  When I saw her a couple of months ago, there were talks of fibroids, polyps, cysts, uterine biopsy, blood tests and blah blah blah. That really is all I heard.  Because I couldn’t handle it at that time.  It seriously was just too much.  I just cried.  

Then my oncologist added to the extra worries  by adding in her concerns over the ObGyn findings and a potential blood platelet issue she ordered bloodwork for.   And more what if’s swirling in my head!  And I have been mentally preparing myself for the possibilities.  

And then all of this great news over the past few days… The uterine issues looked better this week.   And my ObGyn feels the chances of them being cancerous are very very slim.  So no biopsy needed.   🙏. The bloodwork for platelet issue came back normal.   🙏.  My plastic surgeon released me from her care.  🙏.  And then today the sweetest note came in the mail from my nurse navigator at IU Health congratulating me on my survivorship.  🙏.   

I didn’t even realize it.  But this big push the past few weeks has shifted me from a patient undergoing cancer treatment to a cancer survivor! And boy does that bring all kinds of emotions up inside of me.   Relief.  Joy.  Tears of joy.  And a tiny bit of reluctance to completely let my guard down.  I feel lighter and I feel like I can breathe a little easier and I feel like I can give myself permission to start to let go of the fears and worries I have been carrying.  

Thank you Jesus!!!!! 🙏