Update: Bi-lateral mastectomy coming up on May 9th.

You know that feeling when you're tossing and turning in bed the night before a big vacation?  You’re unable to sleep because the next day brings something out of the ordinary.. an exciting break from routine! For me, that feeling starts an entire month before a trip. Ah, the waiting. It's not fun for those of us who are ridiculously impatient.

Well, the last few weeks have kinda sorta felt like I'm waiting for a big vacation, minus the giddy excitement. I'm just plain old anxious and can't focus or be all that productive. The anticipation leads to all of those sleepless nights and counting down the days.. But I'm counting the days until my next scan, my next appointment, my next anything that will reveal a little more about the coming months. I'm surprised at how similar the two things feel. In the past few weeks, I've talked to breast cancer survivors, been poked a zillion times at appointments, read article after article, and cried with Chase. Despite the crappiness that is receiving a cancer diagnosis, I've been smacked over the head with a new perspective. Chase has too. And we've shared some special moments just us, and moments with other family members and friends too. I know I'm just getting started but I'm already grateful for some of the things I've learned and experienced because of this diagnosis. Take that cancer. 

Now, speaking of vacations.. I'll be tossing and turning with the good kind of anticipation on Tuesday night. My doctor ok'd the Legoland/Beach vacation that we booked months ago! We had to push everything back a day so I could meet with my surgeons and get on the schedule before leaving, but it's all working out and we couldn't be more excited. For a week I get to forget what's ahead and just have FUN. I suspect I'll even have more fun, because my gratitude (I get to go!!) will counteract the exhaustion that accompanies traveling with young kids. ;)