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May 12-18

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This will not be a fun post. This will be a long post. This post will be me venting about what migraines really do to a person. Migraines don't just affect the person who has them. They affect their friends and family and co workers as well. Migraines make me feel like a bad person so often because I have to miss out on important life events. Often times these events I miss out on cause people to be frustrated and take out their anger on me. I 100% understand when people get frustrated when I have to cancel last minute and stay home due to a migraine. I understand how frustrating it is to my friends and family because my migraines are affecting their lives as well. But I am so tired of feeling like a bad person because I have an illness. Some people understand more than others when it comes to migraines and how terrible they are. I just wished more people would understand that I am not bailing on things because I don't want to go or don't care. I care a lot. I feel that anyone who knows me knows that I am a very caring person which is why the most frustrating thing about these migraines isn't what it does to me, but what it does to those I love. I constantly feel as though I am letting down the people I care about most and it's hard to not blame myself and make myself feel bad for things that are out of my control. The hardest thing about migraines isn't the pain. I can handle pain. What I can't handle is the emotional strain it puts on me and my relationships with others. I'm sorry to those I love that get frustrated with me due to these migraines but I can guarantee I am way more frustrated. I'm feeling guilty about even writing this because I don't want to be the person that makes this seem like an excuse and a pity party for myself. However, I feel that I put on a brave face and say "everything's fine" when in reality it's not. I'm struggling right now and I could use some extra prayers. As always, thank you to those that took the time to read this and who pray and keep me in their thoughts. 

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