Kathi’s Story

Site created on September 29, 2018

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Newest Update

Journal entry by Angie Wilson

Jeff, Tony, & I was forced to make one of the most difficult decisions of our entire lives this morning. I can't believe how much can change in 1 day. Just last night Tony & I was visiting Mom at the hospital & the nurse was very positive about Mom's condition. Obviously Mom has not been responsive in a week due to catching an infection from her pneumonia but the nurse said that her antibiotics were working & all her vitals were looking good & he believed that she was going to be okay. I went home feeling extremely hopeful. This morning I got a call from Jeff who had gotten a call from the head doctors. Mom's left side of her brain was now bleeding & swelling from her infection & we had 2 choices. Do emergency surgery on her brain or do nothing & put it in God's hands. If the surgery went perfect & was successful she would still have her mind, be able to make eye contact & talk but she would be paralyzed on her left side w/ no chance of regaining feeling or use. She would be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life & need 24/7 care. Mom has always cared about the quality of her life & had made it clear to all 3 of us that if anything should ever happen to her where she could no longer take care of herself on her own that she wanted us to let her go. As much as we all want Mom in our lives & we would have no problem taking care of her, we want to respect her wishes. It has broken our hearts these past 3 weeks to see Mom suffering & to put her thru another major brain surgery seems almost cruel. Never did I think, nor Tony or Jeff, would be forced to make such a choice - as much as it hurts our souls - we all feel at peace with our decision. Mom has put up a hard fight but we are leaving it up to God. They have now cut off all medications keeping Mom going & have her only on pain & anxiety medicine to keep her comfortable. By law they are required to keep Mom on life support for 48 more hours but after that it will be shut off around 11am on Wednesday October 17th. My Mom was the glue that held our family together. She was the light of my life, my best friend, my entire world. I am going to be so lost without her. It’s too soon. She’s only 55. Me & Tony are too young, 30 & 24. We thought we would have Mom for a  very long time. She was such a beautiful person inside & out. She had a sassy & infectious personality & everyone who met her loved her. We are all still in shock this happened. I wish this was a bad dream that I could wake up from. I don’t understand WHY?! Mom was handed a very hard life but she was strong & always made the best of it. I know once she goes she will finally be at peace & out of pain. She will be the most beautiful angel. Please say a prayer for our family for the coming days will be the hardest. I don't want to say goodbye. Please say a prayer that Mom passes quickly with no pain & for her not to be scared. I love you so much Mommy. We are all here, you aren't alone. God be with you. 😇
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