Cancer can take my boobs but it sure as heck cannot take my smile!!!

Trust me, it’s not all unicorns and care bears around our house; both Peter and I can contest.  But I sure do try, even on the worst of days to find that smile within me. 

My midwest self has always done it but recently, I have become more in tune of my feelings while doing this: while I am walking or running I love validating the people I go by with a smile or nod of the head.  No words- just acknowledging the presence of a human being. Some smile or nod back but there are also many that don’t know what to do with a strangers greeting. 

But WOW!  When you get someone to smile back, it is a true high! I believe that human beings have a 6th sense of touching someone without physically touching or speaking to them. 

I believe a smile to the strangest of strangers puts good karma into the world.  When someone validates me back, I always wish for a great day or evening to that someone.  And you know what? I think they can feel my thoughts and hope the good karma I put in their world gives them a warm feeling of love.  I can honestly say a strangers acknowledgment to me makes my day a better one!

Today, as I was running, I was smiling out to the world in remembrance of Bella. She passed away 1 year ago tomorrow.  But a year ago today, was the beginning to her new beginning.  I teared up because with every gust of wind, I felt her smiling down on me.  I really like to believe she was.  

Ahhhhhh.  A core value I have had to reiterate again and again to myself lately. It hasn’t been easy but I know I am blessed.  I had surgery almost 5 weeks ago and recovering well; really well, actually.  Mamma Marge has told me she loves telling her friends that I was running errands at Costco with my sister 3 days after; I love hearing it too!

4 weeks after my surgery, I started running the streets of Columbus.  Yesterday, I ran 4.5 miles nonstop at a pace of 10 minutes per mile.  I couldn’t  feel more proud of my body right now.  

I have tolerated chemo with little side effects compared to others.  I survived a double mastectomy with auxiliary lymph node dissection and learning to love my new body as I plan to remain flat.  On Monday, I start my first of 25 rounds of daily radiation; minus weekends.  I am told that I will get tired…I hope to continue to defy the “what to expects” during cancer.  

Really, at the end of the day, I hope to look back at my treatments and smile:  they have given me LIFE!