Good morning and Happy New Year.  
We are 7 days into the new year and the new beginning post cancer treatment. wahoo?!  I sit here as my kiddos and I take this Friday a little bit easier after a pretty busy and successful week getting back into the routine of school and life.  It's not perfect, definitely messy. I'm managing random fatigue, but also able to accomplish daily tasks and play with the kids. My new meds have caused some trouble sleeping, so I'm switching up when I take that in hopes to resolve that issue. Last night I slept great!  

In the past weeks, I've struggled with what life looks like now. It's hard to look back without some PTS surrounding it and it's hard to look forward with many unknowns and 2 more surgeries awaiting me.  So I'm finding it useful to continue to practice sitting in the now, allowing my body, brain and spirit to heal, and finding peace in that. I know Jesus walks with me.

But lets back track, just a little bit to see how I got here. The previous post was a few months ago, as I was awaiting a radiation start date.  Once it finally started, we got into a pretty good routine of the daily treatments. I rewarded myself with amazing smoothies on the way home and would run an errand or two when I felt up to it. 6 weeks is a long time on this type of schedule.  It definitely got wearisome for myself and my family. It was pretty evident by the 3 week mark we were all done with it. Done w/ radiation, done with cancer, done with 2021.  Honestly, at the point we just buckled down to get thru it but it was just hard and the trauma of the year was burdensome.  During this time, I got an infection in my right breast and needed immediate surgery to remove the expander and to clean out the infection. That was one crazy day.  I'm thankful for my medical team and how quickly it was resolved. wow.  By the end of Rads I was burnt and ouchie. The week after it all ended was very painful and emotion.  I'm thankful it was right upon Christmas break, as I took the time to rest well, heal and just be with my family. Everything I think needed those few weeks of just us and Christmas. I have to say, I'm amazed at how quickly skin does heal. At about 10 days out, the radiated skin had turned around and the pain was gone. Now about a month out it's back to a "tan" and healed up.  

So know you are caught up. What's next? Well...Feb 2 I have surgery to reinsert the right expander. Please pray for me and my family to stay healthy during this time, as to not push this procedure back.  Then it's healing up wounds again and waiting for the final reconstruction surgery come Mid June.  A lot can and will happen in the meantime, but hopefully it'll look like school, playdates, work, game nights, nature walks, chicken dinners, friends, healing and rebuilding.  Pray for just that, that normalcy in our family life, healing from the trauma in my life and my kids, that as Josh and I move forward with our kids we can rebuild into something good. 

One thing I know, is that Jesus has surrounded me and my entire family during this year and He will continue to do what He does best - love us, provide for us, and fulfil what he's begun in each of us.   I was reminded today of this verse from James 1:17 (a favorite of mine since high school and in my top 10) Jesus can be counted on, he doesn't change. And everything, even this past year was filled with good gifts from my heavenly father. May I not loose sight of this.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows"