First weekend without radiation and thought this has got to be a better two days.  Tired, but enjoyed some just laying around.  Woke up Sunday morning to Rodney wanting to fix me breakfast - eggs with cheese and bacon.  Bit into them and there is no taste.....it's like chewing cardboard and I had to make myself swallow it down.  Didn't realize this would start as quickly....no wonder they had been telling me to gain as much weight as I could...(that is a task that has been difficult and I have had to separate it from the effects of the radiation as I suffered from an eating disorder from my middle twenties on)  Bekkah, my youngest has told me I have to compartmentalize it...that too has been a challenge.  God is teaching me so much about myself and how his redeemption has been there for all things - I compartmentalized the parts of me that I believed were redeemed and dealt with the guilt of those that I felt were not.  He is teaching me that all of me, including all sin, all guilt,  and this wretched heart of mine has been redeemed and oh how HE is restoring me.    Create in me a clean heart, O God; And renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; And take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; And uphold me with thy free spirit.