Karen’s Story

Site created on April 21, 2023

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Newest Update

Journal entry by Kezia Barnard

One month ago we still had you with us earth side, Momma. Tomorrow morning marks the first month of many. It feels like forever ago. Forever since we got to kiss you one last time. There were so many times, Mom when I would come back in the room for one last hug and kiss. Oh, what I would give to have one more. I have loved all the love poured out on us. We have been so deeply cared for. I just want you though, the look from a Mom that has walked me through more choices good and bad than I want to admit. Mom, you loved me, even with all my faults and flaws you loved me. I think sometimes why I get sad for not being a biological Mom. You did such an amazing job, if I could be that to others, that would be an accomplishment. So, we move forward whether we want to or not. We remember, we reminisce. Mom, I have talked to so many ladies who have lost and still grieve their Mommas. Today, one had lost hers in 1994 and still wants to talk to her Mom. It makes a person wish at times that they wouldn’t love so deeply. A kind of protection of sorts. Yet, at the end of the day I would rather have the horrible ache with the great love than nothing at all. I miss you, Momma! We were loved by you so well. So, we move forward. Dad says, “I just do the next thing.” That is all we can do right now. One other thing I will continue as best I can is love. Love like you lived for us. Love others well. I don’t do that well. Even today, I failed someone I love. There is a verse that says, “His mercies are new every morning.” That is what I will live from, His mercy. 
I love you, Momma!!!!! Your girl, Kezia

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