Happy summer all! I'm writing from the Dana lobby after an early morning of appointments at Dana Farber. I came in by myself this morning for routine assessments: blood work, neuro testing and check in with Dr. Reardon and immunotherapy infusion. All of it went really well and it feels good to be done and have the doctors and tests confirm I am as good as I feel :). 
I think this was the first visit in all of the time I've been coming to Dana Farber(since September 2011) that I've come in by myself and it's been different and good. I've been so fortunate to have my family with me along this journey and it's usually Xia or my mom that comes with me for the routine and non-routine visits. As many of you know, the best way I've found to deal with cancer is to block it out and at times pretend it isn't there. On visit days I don't have that luxury, but to wake up to thoughts of mortality and treatments and side effects would make living and playing and working incredibly hard for me so I try to block all of that out, sleep really well and get living. It's absolutely not the only way or even a good/the best way to handle a diagnosis but it's the best way I've found for me for now. Many of the people I love and care for have a different way of coping with health diagnoses that works for them and I do think we each find our own best way.
So what does this have to do with today? Truthfully, I'm not 100% sure but allow me to hazard a guess. In finding our own way to handle a health diagnoses I've found there's been a lot of digging I've needed to do. How does my own way impact not just me but others? What are the upsides and downsides of blocking out cancer? What else am I blocking out...? If nothing else, coming in solo today has allowed me to write this and reconnect with all of you but it's also allowed me to step back and think about how cancer has impacted my family and me and even some of you.
I need to get to work now but one of the downsides of blocking out cancer is that by blinding yourself to something you blind others too. Unless I tell new friends and colleagues about my cancer most wouldn't know and since my first diagnosis in 2011 one of my goals has been to raise awareness of brain cancer and the incredible work that continues towards treating and even curing it and the need to support that however we can. So that's the connection: Blocking out a diagnosis, while life sustaining, isn't very conducive to our ongoing awareness and fundraising efforts and keeping cancer on the front burner. Thank you for your generous support and contributions--Go Team Brain Aid! 
Love, Kai and family :)