My friend Jenny told me about a holocaust survivor who prayed to thank God for fleas. While this woman was imprisoned in a camp, she was able to keep her bible hidden in her bunk. The Nazi soldiers wouldn't go near the prisoner's bunks because they were full of fleas. The woman accredited her survival to her bible, which was protected by the fleas. 

I am trying to be thankful for the fleas. To see their purpose. I have a lot of fleas.

10 days ago, Ella was in the emergency room for an abscess on her finger that had to be drained. After a course of antibiotics and dressing changes, the abscess is back. It's been hard for her. Painful. 

8 days ago, Mitch was admitted to the hospital for an ulcerative colitis flare. He was in the hospital for a week. He is slowly getting better but is very ill. 

6 days ago, I had round 3 of this new chemo that is so rough. 

I just did the math, and I won't be done with chemo until NOVEMBER. That means I will have undergone over a year of chemo. My body is very, very tired. 

This coming Monday, May 20, I have my next reconstructive surgery. I wish I were going into surgery stronger and healthier. But - I am very glad to get the tissue expanders removed. 

It is all so much, when we already seemed to have a lot going on. It is all so much, when I'm TIRED, achey, and nauseated. At this point, I feel like I am crawling through each day. 

Everything has a purpose. Trying to see that. Even the fleas.