On September 29th, 2017 Juan was in a very serious car accident in Amsterdam while on a business trip. He suffered a traumatic brain injury, along with broken bones and internal injuries. Those injuries have healed, this site is to keep all of our friends, family and anyone who happens upon it informed about his recovery and to document our journey through the single most difficult time in our lives. Juan is currently in Sarasota, Florida at a facility for people with brain injuries. Tracy is there as well, fighting every day to give him the best possible chance of recovery.
4 years ago today I received a call that would change my world completely. I never would of imagined that I would be living the life I am, but here it is.
My mind swirls with thoughts and emotions today and the one one that stands out is gratitude. I am grateful to all of you for your love, compassion, support and prayers that have covered me and my family. These 1460 days have not been easy. Those first few days, weeks and months were scary and we had such high hopes for Juan, fast forward 4 years and we realize none of those hopes have come to pass, it is a hard pill to swallow.
Being Juans wife will always be my greatest privilege( that and being my kids mom and grandkids Honey).
Juan was such an amazing person. He touched so many lives. I grieve the man I knew and loved so deeply today. My children grieve for their dad. I hope that one day the pain does not sit so closely to my memories so I can remember without so many tears.
Juan taught much about life and living. His wisdom and strength still carries me through each day.
I’ve had to melt into this space I’m living and be fluid with its movement.
The biggest hurdle is accepting, accepting the disappointment, sadness, and loss because it feels like giving up.
I’ve never given up but I’m slowing down. I’ve fought the good fight, we’ve fought the good fight, Juan has fought the good fight, it’s time to give it a rest.
Juan remains very healthy and strong. His body though won’t stop, it is in constant motion all his waking hours. We are working to help him settle and that is with medication. Juan does not communicate freely, he can respond with words when prompted, he does well with his therapies, his agitation has subsided significantly ( I’m grateful) but we are still very cautious. He walks and feeds himself. He has an obsession with doors, so the doors leading outside have to be locked at all times. He may have clarity with recognizing faces but it’s fleeting. I think he knows me as familiar most days but I can’t say with certainty that he knows I’m his wife.
Today I will remember. Today I will remember being Juans wife and be grateful for all the years we had together. Grateful for the children we created and the life we lived pre-accident and life we live today.
Thank you all from the depths of my heart for walking along side us these 4 years!