So many words, so many thoughts, and none of it seems to be sufficient.
We learned about JT’s kidney failure on Friday 11/4. Once we had all of our questions answered we busted him out of the hospital and brought him home on 11/5. He passed away just after midnight on 11/12 - one week.
One week - that one week - was filled with a lifetime of love. “Like snow on the beach, weird but f$;@ing beautiful” Guess I could be a Swifty now, because Taylor Swifts song “snow on the beach” sums up that one week pretty beautifully.
I thought I understood hospice. I completed an internship as a hospice social worker, I knew the mechanics. I wasn’t prepared for the peaceful sacredness of the week. We have a week of pictures, videos, memories and snuggles that we will forever cherish. We do not take it for granted what a privilege it was to have that time.
JT’s celebration of life was the week after he passed, 11/19. That week was full of preparing to celebrate his life. So many pictures, and videos and memories.
Since then we have been aggressively met head on with the reality that JT is gone. At times, it physically hurts, it is testing our faith, and brings a new perspective to what is important. However, we aren’t on this journey alone. The support of family, friends and community are helping us to relearn how to breathe and move forward, one step at a time.
We will never be the same, we will forever miss Jt. We are coming to terms that this is what we’ve got to work with and it is quite a lot. It’s just really different than what we had imagined. I tell my school kids all the time “it’s okay, it’s different, but it will be okay.”
So much love to all - xo
Dawn and Dave
PS - We have had a few people ask about the JT memorial scholarship. The scholarship fund is a reality, we will be working with the school to figure out the wording. It’s not too late to make a contribution. It feels so good to have something to honor him with. Our deepest gratitude to all of you.
