Today I celebrate one year of being cancer free!!

The last entry I made was a year ago. After my first mastectomy, my world became very silent. I grew tired as my last days of chemo ended a month prior. I was weary while having to work remotely through the pandemic and keep up with life. November 11, 2020 was the first time I revealed to my students that I had breast cancer and would not be available for a week or two. Two days before Christmas, my expander burst and I had emergency surgery to get a new one. January 2021 began my journey of daily radiation treatments for almost six weeks. My world became very small as I could only focus on what was in front of me for the day. Daniel was 8,000 miles away and did his best to support, pray, and talk me through the hard days. My favorite memory is during chemo when he would sing and play worship songs on his ukulele as I could barely keep my eyes open each day. April through June was simply resting from the months my body had taken a toll from the treatments. And this past July I had my 9-hour DIEP flap surgery as they removed the right breast prophylactically and then reconstructed both breasts using my own tissue. It was a successful surgery and the medical team feels everything is healing well. On top of treatments I have had around 40 physical therapy appointments in the last year.

But there is beauty in my journey. The day that I got my diagnosis was the same day I announced that Daniel and I were engaged. It was a bittersweet day and my cancer journey seemed to parallel Daniel’s immigration journey from Australia. July 3, 2020 was my last day of my harsh portion of chemo as I hurried from my chemo session to church to have two friends help me put together my paperwork to send to petition Daniel to begin the K1 visa process. On the last day of radiation I heard there was movement on my paperwork and on March 29, 2021, I got the word that my petition had been approved. And finally, 10 days before my DIEP flap surgery and exactly one year from the time my petition got mailed, July 3, 2021, Daniel got his K1 visa approved and he flew to Phoenix from Sydney on August 21st. We got married three weeks later on September 10th, and just celebrated two months of marriage yesterday. 

This has certainly been a year, and God has taken me through the hills and valleys and taught me the lessons of trusting, waiting, and silence. I cannot say that this has been a year of hearing God speak a lot to me. He has caused me to take a position of sitting still and watching Him unfold His promises. He promised me that every barrier would fall when I got to it. That He had moved ahead of us to perform miracles through many Red Sea moments. I learned to trust Him in the silence and know that even at my worst, when I have nothing to say or give, that He’s got me, that He is in the waiting. And that He wanted me to learn how to wait well. His Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. I needed to trust Him for the next step and know that when I got there, that He had already run ahead of me to secure the road. 

Today Daniel and I sat in the sunshine on the newly bricked patio. I dreamed of providing a little haven for us to start a new season. I soaked in the beautiful teal, green, and navy striped umbrella against the backdrop of a crisp Arizona blue sky. We bought a small fountain and wind chimes this past week to complete our small sacred space. I just sat there looking across at him in his lounge chair and thanking God for His miracles, for His deep and dark valleys, and now His mountain top. I remember telling Daniel how I couldn’t wait for sunny days with him on this patio, for simple moments. This evening I turned the patio into a romantic space for dinner to celebrate one year. One year of God’s continual healing and showing up for us, never leaving my side, never letting up, and allowing me to rest in Him, even in silent times when I could not feel His presence. Like the sun beaming down on me today, I felt God breaking the silence to remind me that He has been here all along. Today was filled with peace, calm, and beautiful sunshine. God is so good. His mercies endure forever.