Joy’s Story

Site created on December 23, 2018

I'm going to put this at the beginning, because some friends have made this mistake of pushing the 'donating to CaringBridge' button, and made a tribute donation, thinking it was to me. It's not. It goes straight to CaringBridge. 

Update: September 7, 2020 I celebrated my one year re-birthday on August 29th! Yay! I'm not usually one to count days, I really do practice being present in this moment, but hitting this milestone is big as far as potential for recovery. 

Update: February 18, 2020 I received my bone marrow transplant on August 29, 2019. Recent updates are about my recovery process. I made it to my *100 days*, which is a milestone. And, the next milestone is one year, which will be August 29, 2020. 

Update: August 17, 2019 Since I wrote this last December, the most recent information is in my journal writings. I will be admitted to USC in Los Angeles for my bone marrow conditioning and transplant process on August 23, 2019.

Current contact information: If you wish to mail something to me, I am using my friend's address while I am in temporary housing. That is: Joy Holland, 289 Arnett Ave, Ventura, Ca 93003. If you wish to donate a monetary gift you can do so through Zelle Pay or PayPal using my email address joychristin@yahoo.com or VenMo at joy-holland-5. Thank you so much!!

Newest Update

Journal entry by Joy Holland

Hi,

I feel like you, reading my updates here on CaringBridge, have been following along through the hardest parts of this cancer journey, and you might appreciate this little bit of 'good news' - regarding my new medical team. So, I thought I'd circle back around and share it with you. 

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First, I'll share some background information - regarding health insurance and medical care here in Florida, and my stretch experience before today.

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(As you read, you might be tempted to give advice. I've worked with local professionals in the social services and health insurance systems, here in Fl, and they were doing their best to find any other solution that was better than this! And, please remember that I'm giving you the gist of the final result, and not every detail of each dynamic.)

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The information I was told - while still living in So Ca - regarding switching my health insurance and transferring my medical care - was incorrect. Which I didn't find out until I was here, in Fl. Had I known, I most likely wouldn't have moved (but I didn't know, so then I considered maybe moving back). The incorrect information was regarding pricing - and the difference is *drastic*! Unlike California, Florida doesn't start Medicare until a person earns at least $15,000 per year. Since there is no way I'll be earning $15,000 this year, I have to pay out of pocket which makes my monthly premium $750! While that sounds expensive - and it is to me! - it was actually an average, there are far more expensive premiums. And, with that premium, I still have to pay co-payments for most services, and for some of my transplant meds. It was shocking, and heavy to process.

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Since I'll be in transplant care for the rest of my life (as most transplant patients are), that's not sustainable for me. I put a lot of thought into all of the dynamics, and seriously considered moving back to So Ca. I would have lost money on the move, but that would have been less than what it's going to be for me to pay this going forward. And, the risk of me working, here, is greater than in SO Ca, since there are no pandemic guidelines. It was big to consider. I knew that I'd have to move by the end of October, in order to still qualify for an apartment in So Ca.

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I decided to stay here in Fl. Mainly because the parts that are working are so different in good ways than what I've experienced in the last few years in So Ca. 

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Moving forward, I can't pay that premium each month - it's not in my budget. Which means I'll need to work. I'm doing my best to hold out through February - when flu season is over, and maybe this new variant has passed through. We'll see. But, I'm here. I'm committed to being present as this new chapter unfolds.

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Now for the 'good news'

With that information, you're up to speed on the insurance part.

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Here's another 'surprising thing'. I didn't have my first appointment until today, December 1st.

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Due to a few mistakes along the way, my new insurance didn't begin until today. And, due to more mistakes, my referral to the cancer center didn't go through. (Admin from my So Ca team contributed to those mistakes; while that was frustrating, all I could do was keep doing my best as I moved through it .) So, what I needed to do was prolong the meds I had to try to get them to last until I can get into the cancer center. Which meant I've stopped some of my respiratory meds and I halved the dosage of my transplant meds (and my body feels that!). (I'm giving you the shortest gist of something complicated and messy.) 

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I finally ended up speaking with the admin team from the local cancer center last week. I worked with two different people and both were so kind and compassionate, and helpful. Such a good change for me. In one call, I teared up, because I was overwhelmed by the woman's kindness, and I told her so. It was truly amazing. She was shocked at the messiness of admin, and patiently explained each step I needed to do to get the referral from the primary care doctor. Then, she made sure to connect with them today, to try to expedite an appointment at the cancer center for me. I was truly touched. 

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The next step was to go to a local primary care doctor to get a referral to the cancer center. That's what I did today. Their admin understood my situation, and fit me in today - which was so helpful!

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It felt like everyone was *working with me*, because they wanted the best for me. That's what stood out - especially because I'm new to them, and they don't know me, so it's not based on my personality, it's simply the quality of care they give!

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And, this is what I posted on Facebook about it:

You won't believe this - I didn't and I was in it..........I just had an *extraordinarily good* doctor appointment! I am in awe. Truly.
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If you've been following along my cancer journey, this month of December is my three year diagnosis 'anniversary'. And, in that whole entire time, this is the *first time* I have been treated with compassion and kindness and patience and care, from the entire staff, from registration to the doctor. *and* it's even more remarkable because it was only for a referral to the cancer center for bone marrow transplant care, so I'm not even 'technically' their patient!
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There were many moments during my appointment, when I almost wept from pure joy! It's not even that I was heard - which was exceptional. It's that I didn't have to advocate for myself, at all. They were (astoundingly so!) ten steps ahead of me. Everything I wrote down on a list to remind myself, is what they offered to me, as far as referrals and testing, before I even had to ask - I didn't have to ask, or explain myself or push my way through anything.
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I don't have words to explain to you how that felt. It wasn't draining. It was fulfilling. I can say that I hadn't ever felt that way after a doctor appointment.
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I can't change the past, of course. But, if this was the type of care I had received *when I was at the terminal stage* I can't imagine how much different the feel of my journey might have been.
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I am so grateful. I shared that with each member of the staff.
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I came away with a referral to the cancer center (which is what I needed).
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And....get this!!! *A referral to an allergist!* I've wanted that for one whole year! She didn't even ask to see my hives to 'prove I had allergies'. She just wrote it out. (I'm not sure if you know how many appointments I went to, with my previous team, to try to get that - I've had active hives for one whole year!). And, she apologized that I've been trying to manage hives on my own, this entire time. She was really shocked at that (which was validating for me, and I needed that).
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I got a referral to labs for a whole panel of blood work (not my transplant panel) that I've also wanted for one year. I also got a flu shot (and it didn't take an hour for them to prep!). And, she couldn't write a prescription to refill my transplant meds (that had to be done at the cancer center), but she wrote a refill for my respiratory meds - which means I will be able to breathe better. (I can already energetically breathe better!, after being treated so well.)
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Maybe this is the kind of care you're used to - so it doesn't stand out as special to you. But......*I* am not used to this care, at all. It stands out as so amazingly different to me. I seriously almost cried a few times, at the kindness.
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And, it wasn't just me that wasn't treated well (in So Ca). It was that whole team, and their attitudes from day one, and how they treated each patient. I was just outspoken about it. I'm glad I had the transplant doctor I did - I advocated to get him, and his skill set is why I'm here today, but his team was awful - and I'm so grateful to have this new experience.
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I didn't know this is how medical care could feel. It's marvelous. (the insurance part is still tricky, but the care part is already 1 million per cent better.) When I don't have to use my energy to advocate, there isn't anything to recover from, and that means I have that energy to continue to move through my day with.
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I feel like I have a chance to be whole-body well, and that's a first, and really exciting - especially as it coincides with my diagnosis anniversary. 
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This could really be a whole new chapter, in my medical journey. I had no idea it was possible. It's really, truly incredible.
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As with everything I share, it is my hope that something in this, speaks to you as encouraging in something in your own journey.
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Thank you for listening. And for all of the support through to now!
 
Blessings as the rest of this year unfolds. <3
 
Much peace,
Joy
 
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