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May 12-18

This Week

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I have gotten quite a few requests - below are the recordings from both her service at Christ Church and the Mayo Clinic service that was held for our employees.

Christ Church Lutheran  - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1t0cRq6OBo

Mayo Employee Celebration of Life - https://mssvideoupload.mayo.edu/media/Celebration+of+Life+-+Joslyn+Vaught/1_fmhjvl4a

 

One whole month... it feels both like the blink of an eye and an entire eternity.  I don't feel any wiser, any stronger, any less sad to be honest. In fact, I would say "exponentially more sad" would be an accurate description. I have never felt "you don't know what you had until it is gone" as hard as I have this last month.  When I dropped my parents off at the airport after the service, Jos would have been the one I would call to download about the weekend festivities.  When I was out running errands and came across her fav things, now available in bulk size at Costco, no longer the first text I send.  And the worst, when my heart is hurting this deep and hard and I feel like I just need a hug in the form of words, her very best quality, she would be the person I would reach out to, day or night... and that's the one that gets me. 

I have re-read text after text, trying to squeeze out any motivation, comfort, reminder that even though she is gone, she is still here. And I know that will get easier, I know that the memories will become less painful and more comforting, but damnit if in the meantime it isn't an absolute gut punch. So if you are feeling down and sad, you aren't alone. If you are feeling that gap of missing someone so great, you aren't alone.  Praying for a peace that passes understanding for every single one of you.

This isn't goodbye - Caring Bridge has served it's initial purpose of bringing us together to support and love on one of the best there was.  But we will forever be bonded over Joslyn - and that would bring her unspeakable  joy and amazement in this community that has formed out of this absolutely shitty circumstance. She wouldn't be surprised though, each of you were part of her life for a reason and she would only surround herself with the best of the best.  I will forever be grateful for this group of humans.

With as much love as my heart can give,

Rachel

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