Journal entry by Allison Dille —
Dear Friends and Family,
Almost nine months ago, Josh was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, turning our lives upside down and consuming our schedules with tests, procedures, treatments, hospitalizations, medications, and complications. We experienced heartbreak and suffering in ways we never before imagined. As cancer crashed into our newlywed marriage, we processed letting go of dreams and plans for our little family, delaying career and educational goals, accepting both temporary and permanent health limitations, and dealing with the fear and uncertainty of a life-threatening disease. Our lives could never go back to what they were before.
After receiving a total of 15 rounds of chemotherapy treatments, some dates stick with us:
July 3, 2018: Diagnosed with a bone cancer called osteosarcoma.
July 12, 2018: Began chemotherapy treatments.
October 5, 2018: Limb Salvage Surgery (LSS) - right proximal tibia resected and replaced with prosthesis.
March 22, 2019: Received last chemotherapy treatment.
For the next two years, Josh will be receive follow up CT scans every three months. We will meet with our oncologist to review these scans and be monitored for cancer recurrence as well as our orthopedist to check for complications related to LSS.
As this part of the journey comes to a close, we feel a deep sense of relief and shock. We are grateful to be entering a new season! Life as we knew it was shattered into pieces. We have been picking up these pieces each day. Today is the beginning of trying to put these shattered pieces back together. As painful as this process may be, we can finally breathe again.
We have absolutely no expectations for this process and what things will look like moving forward. The only thing we know is that life will be different because we’re different. And that’s okay.
Everything won't go back to "normal" immediately... There is going to be a new normal, but we haven’t gotten there yet. We haven’t found it yet. We have lived through a nightmare that haunted our every day and every night for nine months. It's going to take time. And that's also okay.
By God's grace, we will begin to heal.
Through it all, the Lord's grace is sufficient for us, for His power is made perfect in our weakness. Therefore, we will boast all the more gladly about our weaknesses. When we are weak, the power of Christ is so very evident, as is our true dependence on Him. We delight in our Lord who is close to us, weeps with us, and walks with us.
He has not left our side during these nine months. He has faithfully cared for us in each moment. He has been our strength each day when we were so weak. He has been our hope on days when doubt filled our minds. He has been our light when all things seemed dark. He has been our peace when our fears overwhelmed us. He has been our courage when we felt unable to face what was before us.
As you have been following our updates and supporting us, we hope that you have also met our Lord face to face. We pray that you have seen His power and experienced that Jesus Christ truly does save! It would be our greatest joy and honor to walk alongside you and continue exploring together what it means to know the Lord who saves.
Thank you to all who have walked this journey with us, being here with us, meeting our needs in large and small ways, and lifting us up in prayer. We praise the Lord for surrounding us with a community of faith and love! God truly is good. Not just when He gives us the desires of our hearts, but when He gives us the strength to persevere in the midst of suffering.
He does not promise us a simple or easy life, nor is He absent in our pain. He promises that He will never leave or forsake us. He promises new life in His Son. He promises Himself. The past nine months have shown us that God’s blessings are not merely circumstantial but are meant to draw us closer to Himself. He is the healer of hearts and minds, as well as limbs and bodies.
I (Josh) am reminded of Jesus’ encounter with the paralytic in Matthew 9:2-7:
With Love,
Josh & Allie
Almost nine months ago, Josh was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, turning our lives upside down and consuming our schedules with tests, procedures, treatments, hospitalizations, medications, and complications. We experienced heartbreak and suffering in ways we never before imagined. As cancer crashed into our newlywed marriage, we processed letting go of dreams and plans for our little family, delaying career and educational goals, accepting both temporary and permanent health limitations, and dealing with the fear and uncertainty of a life-threatening disease. Our lives could never go back to what they were before.
After receiving a total of 15 rounds of chemotherapy treatments, some dates stick with us:
July 3, 2018: Diagnosed with a bone cancer called osteosarcoma.
July 12, 2018: Began chemotherapy treatments.
October 5, 2018: Limb Salvage Surgery (LSS) - right proximal tibia resected and replaced with prosthesis.
March 22, 2019: Received last chemotherapy treatment.
For the next two years, Josh will be receive follow up CT scans every three months. We will meet with our oncologist to review these scans and be monitored for cancer recurrence as well as our orthopedist to check for complications related to LSS.
As this part of the journey comes to a close, we feel a deep sense of relief and shock. We are grateful to be entering a new season! Life as we knew it was shattered into pieces. We have been picking up these pieces each day. Today is the beginning of trying to put these shattered pieces back together. As painful as this process may be, we can finally breathe again.
We have absolutely no expectations for this process and what things will look like moving forward. The only thing we know is that life will be different because we’re different. And that’s okay.
Everything won't go back to "normal" immediately... There is going to be a new normal, but we haven’t gotten there yet. We haven’t found it yet. We have lived through a nightmare that haunted our every day and every night for nine months. It's going to take time. And that's also okay.
By God's grace, we will begin to heal.
Through it all, the Lord's grace is sufficient for us, for His power is made perfect in our weakness. Therefore, we will boast all the more gladly about our weaknesses. When we are weak, the power of Christ is so very evident, as is our true dependence on Him. We delight in our Lord who is close to us, weeps with us, and walks with us.
He has not left our side during these nine months. He has faithfully cared for us in each moment. He has been our strength each day when we were so weak. He has been our hope on days when doubt filled our minds. He has been our light when all things seemed dark. He has been our peace when our fears overwhelmed us. He has been our courage when we felt unable to face what was before us.
As you have been following our updates and supporting us, we hope that you have also met our Lord face to face. We pray that you have seen His power and experienced that Jesus Christ truly does save! It would be our greatest joy and honor to walk alongside you and continue exploring together what it means to know the Lord who saves.
Thank you to all who have walked this journey with us, being here with us, meeting our needs in large and small ways, and lifting us up in prayer. We praise the Lord for surrounding us with a community of faith and love! God truly is good. Not just when He gives us the desires of our hearts, but when He gives us the strength to persevere in the midst of suffering.
He does not promise us a simple or easy life, nor is He absent in our pain. He promises that He will never leave or forsake us. He promises new life in His Son. He promises Himself. The past nine months have shown us that God’s blessings are not merely circumstantial but are meant to draw us closer to Himself. He is the healer of hearts and minds, as well as limbs and bodies.
I (Josh) am reminded of Jesus’ encounter with the paralytic in Matthew 9:2-7:
And behold, some people brought to him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven.” And behold, some of the scribes said to themselves, “This man is blaspheming.” But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, “Why do you think evil in your hearts? For which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he then said to the paralytic—“Rise, pick up your bed and go home.” And he rose and went home.
Christ has the power and authority to do both. I know, because that’s what He did for me.With Love,
Josh & Allie
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