Very close to 12 hours after hospice was initiated John was at peace and passed at 3:08am.  Lily and I received the call shortly after and headed straight to the hospital to say goodbye one last time and now to initiate the cremation process.  I believe John died at peace and with a proud heart knowing he raised an amazing daughter who will navigate the rest of her life with grace and love from others. 

When we arrived at the hospital John was at peace.  For the first time in months he felt no pain, no worry and no fear.  He was on his way to join his late wife Veronica and our sister in Heaven.  Lily always says that Dawn and Veronica are in heaven reading books together in the library of heaven.  When John joins them he likely will opt for the sports and entertainment room in heaven over the library but they will all indeed be together again.  

As I sit at John and Lily's kitchen table writing this John's phone just went off playing his 6:30am alarm bell so he could get ready for his work day at Pete's Fresh Foods.  I let the alarm play for a while as it was a pleasant joyful tune and it made me think the bells of heaven were ringing and the gates were opening.  John won't be going to work today here on earth but he'll get to work reuniting with loved ones in heaven.  I hit snooze on the alarm because I wanted to hear it again to reinforce the hope of the bells playing.  Lily and I are also playing John's favorite superman movie on the television to just keep his spirit alive a bit longer.

At his bedside one last time Lily cried and allowed the hospital chaplain say a prayer with her and John.  I did what I do best, started executing tasks and solving problems.  I will feel the real pain at a later point in time.  Lily will feel the pain for many years to come.  Tomorrow, December 19th, would have been Veronica's 40th birthday and today, December 18th marks the death of her father.  John will be with Veronica on her b-day.

John was well liked by many people.  I am proud of his character and how he lived his life working hard to provide for his daughter and be the best friend, brother, husband and son that he knew how to be.  John will be missed but never forgotten.  He will leave his legacy through his daughter Lily who is bright, smart and lovely young lady.  She has experienced great loss but I believe she will achieve a version of greatness both her parents will be proud of.  Lily will be under the guardianship of her maternal grand parents who love her.

When our sister died in April 2016, John was heartbroken and was really impacted by her loss.  I am glad they will be together now.   When my sister died I held her hand and told her I loved /her.  I did the same with John today.  Two of four siblings have left us; my brother Jim and I will grieve this new loss together.

John did not want any fanfare or a big funeral.  Neither did Dawn.  It is our family way to leave quietly and let those left behind move ahead quickly without having to stay focused on the grief and loss for very long.  John did not want thousands of dollars spent on a funeral; he wanted resources to be used for Lily instead.

Lily and I will obtain John's ashes at a later point and mix some of his ashes with Veronica's.  Lily and I will find ways together to sprinkle some of his ashes in places that brought him joy.   John always wanted to go to Florida to Disney with Lily.  Lily was able to go with her best friend's family but John never did.  Lily and I will one day take a trip to Florida together and sprinkle his ashes in the ocean so he can have his wish.

John loved superhero's, especially Superman.  The picture included in this post is one of John's posters.  I will take home with me and frame it to always remember John.  Superman soaring high away from earth.

If you want to do something to honor John, please donate to any charity in his name.  Thank you everyone who loved and cared for John.  I am grateful he had each of you in his life.  Please cherish each and every moment.  Please make the most of each and every day you have.

Rest in Peace John.  I love you.  Many people loved you.

- Diana, John's sister