I woke up early this morning. I looked over at the clock. It was 5:36.

It has been one year now since Jody left us. It has been a long year, yet the time has passed so quickly. Much has happened. There have been many changes in my life. I have forged new friendships and rekindled old ones. But there are many things that I wanted to accomplish that I have not done. I have not reached out to everyone who helped us through the difficult times; little tasks have fallen in the cracks; big dreams have not been realized. But I continue to move forward.

The biggest change happened this summer, when I took a major step toward a retirement goal that Jody and I had. She insisted that I would be able to do it on my own. We dreamed of buying an old farmhouse out in the country somewhere where we could grow vegetables and fruits and flowers. Beginning in December when a rundown Greek Revival house from the 1850s caught my eye on Zillow, I searched for just the right place, and in July it came on the market. I now own a cute three bedroom, one bath farmhouse on 1.8 acres a couple miles northeast of Laingsburg, MI. I purchased the well-maintained home, built in 1901, from descendents of the original settlers who had homesteaded here in 1858. This winter will be spent carefully planning the details of our retirement garden dreams. My new address is 7908 W. Parker Rd., Laingsburg, MI  48848.

A second significant impact has been the increased amount of time I am spending with my parents, as my father's health has declined. My mother also had a stroke, fortunately with little residual effects, but I am now doing all their driving, including to many medical appointments and the grocery store. I am happy to be now living less than half an hour away from them, instead of nearly an hour, and am also glad that I have the time and energy to help them. Next weekend the family will gather to celebrate my father's 90th birthday, and Kelsea, Travis, and I will also commemorate the one year anniversary of Jody's passing.

I try to focus on the joy that Jody brought me, rather than on the sadness of her death, of a life too short. I know that that is how she would expect me to live without her, to truly live while I am alive. I hope that you, too, remember her love of life and the people close to her. Remember her laugh, remember her willingness to be Mom for anyone who needed her, remember her graciousness. She was not famous, she did not make headlines, she did not make history, but, as her friend Patrice said, she had the ability to be enough. 

It seems so long ago and only yesterday when I awoke from a very brief sleep, my arms around Jody, when I realized that she was no longer struggling to breathe. I looked over at the clock. It was 5:36.