Hiiiii!
In case you missed it, Eat Pray Love is on Netflix. It held a little more meaning this time around. Fun fact, Julia Roberts character’s name is Liz Gilbert in the movie.The author that wrote Eat Pray Love is Elizabeth Gilbert, one of the best authors ever. 

It’s been about 5 months since I wrote last. It got weird for awhile ...and dark. I got weird for awhile... and dark. It’s hard to stand in “normal” land with rose colored glasses and watch the tragedies and train wrecks of life decimate those close to you or even those around you. For those of you who refused to look away, who stood with me in my sadness, checked in, and extended a hand, I am humbled and grateful. Thank you. I Love you. 

People ask how I am. I am healthy, healing, and cancer-free. That’s my affirmation mantra. I am rebuilding the wreckage into something authentic and beautiful. My hair is finally showing some semblance of growth and femininity. As it turns out, bleach blonde is not my natural hair color and I am 100% okay with that. It’s a weird feeling to look more like myself when I look nothing like my before self. 

My last scan was last Thursday. After having continuous side and rib pain for 6 weeks, I asked my doctor for a scan because I was about to lose my gd mind. The anxiety was keeping me up at night. Before that I thought cancer had spread to my brain, turned out to be a sinus infection. Before that, I thought it was in my liver, turned out to be an ovarian cyst. Do you see where I’m going with this? And then start sprinkling in all the cancer friends who are getting reoccurrences, going stage 4, or dying. That’s the gasoline of the anxiety fire. Last week while I was waiting for my scan results a breastie announced on Instagram she was now stage 4... from stage 0! She finished treatment 6 months ago. Ugh. 

I’m still juicing my face off and taking a million supplements a day. I am also still on the Care Oncology Clinic protocol of off label drugs. I continue to get acupuncture, EDMR therapy, and Reiki monthly. I can’t remember when, maybe in May, but I started to finally feel good and then it became a consistent occurrence. I now have a pretty good gauge on my new normal which is a huge fucking deal. I went back to the gym and started weight training with a trainer who works with people who have been through cancer treatment. I’m starting to gain some weight back. I eat clean but am more open to eating out, indulging in a comfort meal, or having a treat every now & then. 

I started a new role in June that initially scared the shit out of me but has proven to be a tremendous opportunity for growth. I’m throwing myself into anything that feels uncomfortable because why the hell not. Shane & I went to Branson, MO a couple of weeks back & I volunteered to get hypnotized on stage. That is not something I would ever do. I also told the nice salesman who was trying to sell us a timeshare NO.

Long story long, I’m turning over a new leaf and the new leaf is Lizzo approved.🔥