Well, it's been a while since my last update. I last shared that I would be starting a pill form of chemo called Xeloda. Let me start by sharing my experience with that drug. In the morning I would take 5 chemo pills, along with my array of supplements from my naturopathic oncologist - and at night I would take 4 additional pills. I counted it out and basically I was taking 16 pills every single day. I used to be the type of person that wouldn't even take headache medicine because I disliked taking pills... and now I was taking 16 a day?! The irony.

Overall, I tolerated this chemo pill pretty well. I was able to get through my daily tasks without too much of an issue. The thing that was the hardest about this drug though was something called Hand & Foot Syndrome. Basically, my hands and feet were EXTREMELY dry - to the point where my feet were constantly peeling and the skin was very sensitive. I would feel a burning sensation on the bottom of my feet and walking became difficult. I couldn't wear tennis shoes because it was too constricting and my toenails were even starting to lift. Thank God I have my trusty Croc slides because without those I wouldn't have been able to wear shoes.

After about 3 months of being on this drug, I noticed that my skin was improving on the left side of my chest - but progressing on the right side. This confused me. How can it work on one side and not the other... but apparently this happens and unfortunately it did to me. Luckily, as this was happening I had an appointment to see Dr Hope Rugo at UCSF. If you do a quick google search on her you will see what an amazing doctor she is in the breast cancer world. I felt so incredibly lucky to be able to see her. She spoke with me and we decided it was time to switch my treatment up - yet again. We did a repeat CT scan to ensure nothing had spread and thankfully, at that time everything still looked good. In fact, the three lymph nodes that come up on my scan prior had decreased in size! Just this pesky skin issue.

We didn't waste any time and two weeks later I started a new regimen. It is two chemotherapy's along with one immunotherapy. They are called Carboplatin/Gemzar and Keytruda. You've probably seen commercials for Keytruda, I know I had but never knew what it was. It is an immunotherapy - which essentially kicks your immune system into overdrive and should help attack cancer cells more specifically. It works if the cancer contains a protein called PDL1. My pathology showed that I do have the PDL1 protein and the level is somewhere between 11-20. This was very encouraging as some people do not have this protein which then crosses that drug off as an option for them. I was hopeful and ready to start this new treatment.

I have now just recently completed 4 cycles of this treatment (two weeks on and one week off). The main side effects I have experienced are aches, chills, fatigue, nausea, and heart palpitations. They typically last for about 3 days after my IV infusion and then I start feeling better. The results are mixed. Some areas on my skin look stable and others seem to be progressing. It is definitely frustrating to not see the amazing results I was hoping for. I alerted my medical team about this and now we are looking at what the next treatment option will be. I have also reached out to UCSF for their input as well - because at this point we need to get creative. I get worried we will run out of treatment options and this just crosses another one off of the list. I will be getting a CT scan next week and hopefully everything internally still looks ok. This is one of my biggest worries at this time and scanxiety is a real thing. Currently accepting all prayers and good vibes for that.

Overall, I'm frustrated. The feeling of having no control over your health and circumstance is terrible. The fact that treatments "kinda" work on me is also tough but at the same time I am thankful because I know it could be much much worse. It's a balancing act of being thankful yet upset. I am thankful I have treatment options - but I am upset I have to do more. I am thankful my blood work is stable - but I am upset I have to go in every week and get poked for a blood draw. I'm thankful I can still complete daily tasks - yet upset my body feels a lot older than 36 years old. You get the point. This will be my 4th chemo regime since being diagnosed and I PRAY this one works. I need it to work. I hold on to hope always but it is scary. So incredibly scary. Thank you to all who follow my journey, reach out, etc. It helps to have support, I can't imagine how much worse this would all be without that. As I head into this next phase I will do my best to keep my head held high and my eye on the prize.

To be continued...