All,
It has been brought to my attention that I may have shared too much about Jay's condition and that perhaps people only want to remember the good things and I am not being sensitive to how others want to remember him. 

I am not perfect and I may not be doing this whole process correctly. There was no practice drill for this or set of instructions provided to me. I had no intentions of hurting anyone - especially Jay's memory or my mother in law. 

I was trying to be transparent about Jay's illness and provide information to the friends and family who were looking for answers. Part of the pathology of his condition is pretending it does not exist. I'm not going to do that.

Jay always encouraged me in my resolve to live a purpose driven life. He knew that is why I worked a pharmaceutical company because I wanted to have an impact on patients and their families who are suffering. He always supported me when I took a stand for what is right. He never tried to silence me and always encouraged me to take the high road. 

I loved my husband for 24 years. We had great times and raised two wonderful boys; however, there were some very difficult days that challenged me to my core. Nevertheless, I was committed to help Jay on his road to recovery.  I was with Jay every single day at the hospital sometimes up to 12 hours a day. I ensured that he had the best possible care. I washed his hair, did his nails and massaged his hands and I held him and told him that I loved him when he drew his last breath. Until you walk in my shoes,  don't judge me.

I have been transparent about this issue without disrespecting my husband. I do not want others to have to suffer the way that we did. That is my choice about how I grieve - That is my prerogative and I won't tell you how to grieve for Jay.

I respectfully ask that if you a constructive comment to make about me - that you direct it towards me and refrain from complaining to others. Your complaining about me does nothing to help those of us who are hurting the most. Your words and behavior hurt at time when hurt and grief is incredibly overwhelming. 

Consider following Jay's guidance - Take the high road.