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May 12-18

This Week

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It is with  the heaviest of hearts I write this post. A little after 3 o’clock this morning my sweet, beautiful Jarrod passed away. It was peaceful and he was comfortable. There are no words to express what my heart feels like. I have experienced grief in many forms, but this might top them all. I grieve for his family as they try and navigate this situation I loss. I grieve for his friends who he loved so so much and loved him. I grieve for my family who has accepted Jarrod as their own from the first day. I grieve for Jarrod as all the dreams he had and big things that were to happen are now over. I grieve for me as my future which I was once so excited about now leaves me uncertain and at times scared. 

As heavy as my heart is I also have a lot of things I know to be true. I know that what has undoubtedly been the worst day of my life, has been the best day of Jarrod’s new one. I know he is healed and whole again. I know he is the vibrant, active man I love. I know that he has seen and met God and has been welcomed into His kingdom with open arms. He has no pain, no sadness, no fear.
I also know we will see each other again. He and I will certainly be reunited one day. 

As much as my heart aches, I would never change one day with him.
I would experience this pain again and again to do the past two years. They have undoubtedly been the best two years of my life and I would like to think his as well. In our time together he made me a better friend, daughter, niece. He opened my eyes to so many things (who knew I would enjoy hiking). He made my heart capable of love I wasn’t even sure existed. He is my person that God designed for my life and that will never change. Oh how I wish we could have been married. It was something we were both so excited about. Although we were never officially married, I do think we honored vows that were just never taken.

Jarrod would have been 40 mid May. We would joke how he was a few years older and he needed to maybe gets a few things checked, maybe some lab work done. I would say “Jarrod,
you’re gonna be an old man soon. It’s time to start checking on stuff.” He would always look at me and say “No,
no, no. I am going to be 39 forever.” So it is that you will remain 39. 

Please pray for his family, his best friend Nathan and his family who love and adore Jarrod. Please pray for my family as well. Pray for acceptance and peace, comfort and love. Please continue to pray for tor Augusta Burn Center. The work they do is unlike anything I have ever seen. 

Thank everyone who has reached out in any capacity. It has been humbling and wonderful. I couldn’t ask for better family, friends, coworkers, church community, and neighbors. Your love and support has helped me through these past few weeks and I know will help me moving forward. Thank you again.

AHI

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