Hi All, 

Yesterday was my last radiation treatment!

It is a bit surreal to think that all active cancer killing methods are at a close for me.  Fatigue, skin damage, and difficulty swallowing are side effects that I leave active treatment with (the proton rays affected my esophagus where they were targeting more lymph nodes).  But, the doctors said these would pass within a month, so, I’m looking forward to feeling back to normal soon. I’m also hoping to get the all clear in 6+ months for reconstruction surgery and praying for wisdom from the doctors on how to best approach the post radiation muscle damage.  

As for the continued hand numbness, the results from my nerve conduction study will also be reviewed next week.  For now, the neurologist said it's not carpal tunnel, but a compression of a nerve in my spine.  She wanted to order an MRI, but because of the temporary expandor I'm not able to get that done.  She's hoping that we can resolve the hand numbness with physical therapy.  She's also still trying to determine if it is at all related to the cancer fighting hormone injections.  We will know more when we meet.   

Friendships have strengthened me through the last stretch of treatment. Families from church, the Haas’s, Arnesen’s, & Sentence’s - have blessed us with childcare two times per week.  Friends from small group - Xing, and her two kiddos, Jaydon and Derek, have come over for play dates to occupy the kids.  Vivette Payne - my mentor from Chicago continues to spend mornings sending Scripture and praying with me.  The Wolfe family, Judith Harding, Carol Hamilton and Denise Rockwell, have all sent great books on healing and recovery after diagnosis.  And my two small group Bible studies have been so very loving and supportive during our weekly times together.  Many Thanks!

My emotions have been on a bit of a roller coaster.  In one sense, I'm relieved with knowing that this phase of cancer world has come to a close (no rushing out the door at 6:30am, yay!). 
Then there is sadness in recent news of my mother-in-law now battling uterine cancer (her surgery is scheduled for Jan 2) and then yesterday finding out that my uncle’s lung cancer has spread (making him miss Christmas celebrations with the family in the Midwest).  I struggle with understanding the Lord's plan in each of their stories. But I have faith that both of them know Him intimately and that He's in full control.      

Part of being on this cancer journey is realizing that it’s not about you, it’s about what God wants to do through you. A friend and fellow radiation patient (who was also at her last day of treatment yesteday) smiled at me and said, “Go, enjoy life!” She’s so right! The Lord doesn’t promise that our lives won’t be without difficulties, but he wants us to have life and have it abundantly. To enjoy life doesn’t mean ignoring the pain and putting a fake smile in my face. To enjoy life is to take it with all of its beauty and messes - like in cuddling with my kids, going on dates with my husband, and cooking my favorite dishes for loved ones....to dealing with the side effects of treatment, starting another season of walking alongside family members with cancer and facing another major surgery next year. In all these things there is joy because God is alive and has promised to never leave me nor forsake me.  

Praise:  Active cancer killing treatments are complete! 

Prayer Requests:
1.  For my mother-in-law, Karen and for my Uncle David - that their cancer treatments are successful and that they would be strengthened each day. 

2. For the side effects of radiation - fatigue, skin damage & difficulty swallowing to subside quickly.     

3. For Eden and Matthan - they have been asking when I will be "done with cancer" and when things will be back to normal.  I've told them that I'll be feeling better soon and that all of the cancer they found is gone.  Then, each time I have a doctors appointment, they are a bit nervous and ask me if I still have cancer. Their understanding if still limited and we are asking for the words to say and for the right timing in sharing the news of "Nana's" cancer journey beginning. 

4.  For the the results of my neurology exam to be conclusive - that physical therapy would treat the hand numbness and for wisdom to know if we should restart the monthly hormone injections to shut down my ovaries. 

5.  Finding the right local cancer support group - for connecting with other survivors, coping with  fears of recurrence and wisdom in how to serve others in their healing process. 

6.  To "Go, Enjoy Life!" by embracing each day as a new gift. 

I want to give everyone who has blessed us through this journey a huge THANK YOU!  Your generosity, prayers and acts of loving-kindness have sustained and lifted me up these past four months.  I'm eternally grateful to each of you.  My heart is bursting with appreciation for you all. 

During yesterday's final radiation session, they were playing my hip hop mix, and the song, “Sweet Victory,” by Trip Lee, closed out the morning. I felt like the Lord was present in that moment, saying that no matter what happens after this cancer journey closes, that He is my victory, and no one can take that from me.  Here are the lyrics that He used to remind me of His daily presence and love:

They like "I hear you talking wins but I see your losses"
"You celebrating crowns but I see your crosses"
That's the paradox that don't fit in your merry box
You might not understand 'till you walk in this pair of socks
The victor ain't the one thats winning seventh inning
Trophies don't go to the ones that got a good beginning
When I say I win I don't mean this day I'm in
I mean that day when the grey skies fade out then
I'm winning 'cause I reign with him

The crown of thorns declares you're King
A scarlet robe can't cloak your majesty
Yeah they nailed your hands, you nailed our death
From the cross you reigned
Your kingdom knows no end

Oh Jesus, you won it all
Oh Jesus, victorious 
Oh Jesus  

Much Love to You All,
--Janet