Tomorrow, well today, is my last chemo, #4 of 4. It is with both apprehension and excitement that I approach this day. 

I dread sitting in the chair with the damn cap (that I love to hate and hate to love), the blood draws, the sustol shot to the gut, and the poison that I willingly push through my system to fight a disease I didn’t ask for. I dread the coming week and the side effects that will plague me for some time ahead - stomach upset, hair loss (eye brow, eyelash and my “friar tuck” bald spot), tingling in my hands and feet, fatigue, chemo brain, eye twitches, poorer vision, etcetera, etcetera. 

However, there is an overwhelming excitement I feel that this is the last of that damn chair and that damn cap which has saved my hair (not my body hair - I haven’t missed shaving!) and helped with my non-cancer patient appearance, the last of those side effects which could have been far worse (and are for so many people), the last poison, my final chemo. 

Most importantly, tomorrow/today marks the completion of 2/3 of my active cancer treatment. In November I move onto radiation (I’ll save all that for another post).  It’s hard to believe how far I’ve come and how much has happened since my diagnosis in June. Time flies when you’re having fun!  

In other news, I recently started back at yoga, a new bikram-based studio.  I forgot how much I love to practice, how clear everything seems afterwards, how centered I feel - it’s rejuvenating. I like to credit yoga, my walks, elliptical training, and working (yes, working) with my overall “wellness” throughout treatment - and also my amazing support system as I couldn’t do it without the constant positivity flowing my way.  Seriously, the luckiest gal right here!

P.S. Don’t mind my sleeplessness, that’s the steroids - they also crave pasta and enjoy turning my face into a moon shape. I won’t miss them either.