I was attempting to write a super concise update for our family Christmas card this year and realized there was no way to do it in 142 characters. So I wrote something general and decided it was time to update those who followed our journey with such kindness as we are now almost 5 months out of treatment.

The short version is this - praise God James remains cancer free and we are all thankful to be done with chemo forever! The enemy that is cancer has been defeated and our hope for the future has been restored!

The truth is we have had an amazing last few months. James is more himself than I have seen him in years. His laughter and creativity and energy breathe joy into my mommy heart every day. James has returned to school full time - he makes it through the days and has energy left when he gets home. We were able to take a much needed and totally wonderful vacation to the ocean. We spent days together as a family; relaxing and recovering from this crazy ordeal. James and Henry have started playing basketball ... not that they are really built for the sport, but they both really like it. And as I watch James huff and puff to keep up with the other boys his age, I am constantly overcome with emotions by the stamina he is regaining. We have spent lots of time with family and friends, with our church family, and in our community. Normal life has begun and it is so glorious!

I will say this though. The journey still doesn't feel totally over. James had surgery to have his port removed, which went well and his recovery was pretty quick, but surgery is surgery and of course it was not a fun day. We are taking monthly trips down to the hospital, James is getting bloodwork done (and brings joy to the staff in the lab with his sweet disposition and comedic timing... cue the wiggly eyebrows during his last blood draw), and meeting with his oncology team. I need to schedule his echocardiogram which is giving me anxiety. His skin is a total mess. He battled different skin issues the entire time he was undergoing chemo, which they told me is normal for kids who are immune compromised, but instead of getting better they seem to be getting worse and I am getting frustrated for my poor kids who has just been through enough already! Cold and flu season hit us hard. We have had everything come through our house ... from pink eye to the stomach flu to influenza A, it has been an endless stream of Kleenex and fevers and trips to the pediatrician. James is struggling a bit to catch up socially at school. There are just things that continue even with treatment being over. There are days that I wonder when we will really be actually done. I am not sharing this to sound like a real Christmas buzzkill... I just think we all feel like this sometimes. When we have been anticipating the end of something hard , and then feeling like it just never totally goes away.  

What I keep coming back to is the amazing  reality of Hope. When James was diagnosed, while he was going through treatment,  when things were super scary with his blood counts... my hope was hanging on by a thread. But now.... Cancer is defeated.  My hope for my son has changed from timid and believing in what God could do, to confidence and gratefulness for what I have seen God do. The journey may not be over, but the victory has been won. Hope has been restored.

That is what Christmas is too, right? "The thrill of hope, a weary world rejoices" ....  Israel was anticipating a king to bring an end to all suffering, to pain, to oppression and hurt. When Jesus came He put an end to it forever. But we are still living out our journey on earth.  Until we get to Heaven and the fullness of salvation is ours to enjoy there will still be ups and downs and things that go sideways. The difference is that we have Hope. The King has redeemed us. He is restoring us. Thank you Jesus for giving the gift of Hope to the world and to my family.  

Merry Christmas!

Isaiah 9: 6-7 

6 For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
7 Of the greatness of his government and peace
    there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne
    and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
    with justice and righteousness
    from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty
    will accomplish this.