February 22, 2021
I sit and watch the giant, fluffy snowflakes fall slowly adding to the already thick blanket of white that has been piling up outside. As much as I’m wishing for winter to be over,  it looks so peaceful.  I breath in deep and let out a sigh as my mind wanders thinking about the past few months.

This past year has certainly had its challenges.  Each year around New Years I tell myself, “well it can’t get any worse than this year”... but inevitable, it does. This past year has also had some major milestone events that I am grateful for! On December 22, my father had his last chemo infusion. After 2 years, he had his last. He will continue to need oral chemo (in pill form) for the rest of his life, but no more chemo through the IV. He is doing great! 

I didn’t get to celebrate with my dad on his last chemo day, or spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with my parents.  But we made the best of it and look forward to when we all can get together and sit around a table and have a meal together.  And of course we are not alone.  I know many people who couldn’t celebrate the holidays with their loved ones, and it breaks my heart.  I have been fortunate enough to be fully vaccinated and my parents have received their first dose of the vaccine.  So hoping when we are all vaccinated, we can finally sit down for that long awaited meal! 

We didn’t even make it into the second week of the new year when COVID struck our family.  My husband, my son, and I.  For 2 weeks my son and I isolated at home while my husband fought for his life in the hospital.  I will spare the details for now, but it was no less then a nightmare for us.  And the effects continue to linger. 

Two and half years ago when we started this journey with my dad, I vowed to try to find the silver lining in difficult situations.  However, I never expected a pandemic like COVID to show up and “ef” everything up.  This pandemic has been very similar in my eyes to cancer. We don’t know who it will effect, we don’t know how serious it will be for some, and we don’t know who will be able to fight through it and who will succumb to it.  The difference... the unfortunate people who are hospitalized with COVID have the tremendous burden of doing it alone. 

Staring at the snowflakes I grapple at the question “what is the silver lining with all of this?”  So many have been effected, lost loved ones, lost what life used to be for them.  I want to scream out at the snowflakes asking  “what is the good to come out of all of this?!”  I’ve seen people be at odds with one another arguing their beliefs about the pandemic and how things should be handled.  I’ve seen relationships shattered over someone trying to make a point.  So where is the silver lining? 

My eyes turn back to the falling snow. I follow a snowflake slowly descending to the ground and watch as this one individual snowflake falls alone.  And I realize that as these individual snowflakes fall they all come together to form this cohesive bond of a beautiful blanket of snow.  It makes me think of all the people that guided me through the past few weeks through our COVID ordeal. All of the text messages, the phone calls, the check ins, the food, the cleaning supplies, the errands done when I couldn’t.  The overwhelming support and love that so many gave to us makes my heart smile.   As I was falling slowly into an unimaginable nightmare, I was surrounded by so much love and support that helped me to find the strength to push through and to be strong for my family.   I  have formed new bonds with so many people and existing bonds that I had with some have grown even stronger.  

 We need each other.  We need to be there for one another for the ups and the downs. To celebrate with and to cry with.   As the old saying goes “it takes a village”, and I truly have an amazing one. 

Thank you to my village! I couldn’t have done it without all of you!  You are my silver lining! And please know, I will do my very best to always be there for anyone who needs a helping hand. 

With love,

Lia