It typically takes me a few days, sometimes a week or two and even sometimes longer to update everyone. I have to take a moment to process and comprehend all of the information we receive and what is going on with Mom. Also, I want to portray these updates as if it were Mom sharing with everyone. So please, continue to bare with me as I know these updates are not always "timely." 

It is so important to Mom that she shares her story, her journey with her family and friends, with everyone really. It means so much to her that this is all shared because if her journey can help anyone else, give hope to someone, provide some peace and comfort, then that is and has always been her goal.

I pray to God before each update that he uses me to do exactly what Mom wishes, to fulfill what she is wanting to be portrayed as her update, as well as just to be transparent as I can be to give you all the details you are looking for. 

Five days ago, Mom and I were back up at Mayo Clinic. We were there for two main reasons. One, to get her treatment as normal, and two, to find out what this bump on her neck is. The PET scan showed that the lump on Mom's neck is the disease coming back, news we did not want to hear.  The first reaction for us was that we were heartbroken, upset, disappointed, sad, frustrated, fearful... you name it, we felt it, ESPECIALLY Mom. 

Dr. Ryder talked through the scan with us, talked about her current treatment plan with us and as she spoke to us, it just seemed so unreal, is this really happening? Mom spoke up and right away said, "Well, what do we have to do?" She continued to talk with Dr. Ryder telling her that she was going to continue to battle, to fight with all she has and that she would in fact be the miracle.

Thankfully, at our previous visit with Dr. Ryder, she started Mom on a new chemo, a pill "just in case" the bump was in fact disease. The good news is that we had already began a new form of treatment to attack this disease coming back. Dr. Ryder at first was very concerned because with the disease coming back in the same spots, we cannot radiate those spots again. After further conversation about her current dose of the new chemo, she became optimistic. 

She became optimistic because we have room for an increase in the new chemo. She started Mom off at such a low dose due to the fact we were unsure the bump was disease or inflammation and we also wanted to make sure that Mom could handle the new chemo without too much harm or side effects.

Thank God, Mom has handled the new chemo... yet again, we have to give him all the praise. He is the one working behind the scenes, the one with the plans for the doctors that are working with Mom. He is the one doing it all and we give him praise and thanks!!!

So, moving forward, the plan is to continue to gradually increase the chemo as Mom can handle. We will continue to battle this tumor... continue to fight and give it all we got. Mom, that is. She wants to fight. She knows deep down she can win this battle with God by her side. I know it too. With all my heart and soul, I know Mom can do this. WE KNOW SHE CAN DO THIS!!! WE can win this battle together. While Mom, is the one actually fighting, we are her support, her team, we are right by her side for any and all that she needs... ALL of us. 

On the way home, I kept asking Mom, "How do you feel?", "What are you thinking?"... Her response was she was scared. I told her, Mom it is ok. It is ok to be scared. It is ok to feel and think all you are, but don't stay there long... try not to. We do not want to give fear that energy... I encouraged Mom to stay focused on her goal, which is "to be the miracle!" I told her to stay focused on God because he is working... he has a plan for her already and it is in the working stages. 

And then, you know what she said, "It could be worse." 

It took everything I had to not break... "Yes, Mom, it could be worse. A LOT worse!" The facts are the disease is still localized... it may have come back, but it has NOT spread and we THANK GOD for that. See, even with not so great news, there is still good news, amazing news actually and that is that it has not spread. God IS working. We remember things do not happen on our time, but God's time and his time is always perfect. 

Mom, you truly are a fighter, a warrior, and a child of God. You keep the faith, you keep positive, you give US ALL hope and inspiration for every day of life. You keep fighting and God will be right alongside of you... he will get you through. AND, you have ALL of us with you...for support, for encouragement, to listen, to just be there... WE, Mom are all here for you. 

The BATTLE continues... 

<3

Lindsey 

***Thank you to all of you who continue to follow Mom's journey and her battle and for all of the love and support we have received and continue to receive. Mom is truly so loved. We appreciate you all so much, more than words... please know that and know that even the simplest of gestures go unnoticed. All the texts, messages, cards, etc., it is ALL so much appreciated. Mom is so blessed, we are so blessed to have the support we do. THANK YOU!!!***