Journal entry by Heather Marcella —
Written by HANNAH
asked me to share with you
Home sweet home.
I'm at a loss for words what the last 16 days have been like for myself, and my family.
But I feel the need to be vulnerable & share a little..
It started with a mild headache in my right eye, to mild blurry vision to a trip to the walk in clinic then directed to the ED.
I was in shock. Not again.... Not my heart this time, but my eye.
The words Multiple Sclerosis (MS) were being thrown around, but not to get ahead of ourselves...
I was admitted for workup.
My vision day by day continued to worsen..
5 days later a Lumbar Puncture changed our care plan coarse. Found VZV (shingles) in my CSF. A diagnosis of meningitis and optic neuritis.
The treatment of antivirals was horrible.. Nausea and pain in my neck, head and eye..days in bed I struggled through. My family always by my side.
I remember being told by the Dr. Thay My vision will probably never return in that eye. Too much damage to my retina..
Shock. Disbelief. How? Why me? Grief. Loss...
16 days of intense inpatient care on the neuro/stroke floor.
I was discharged home.
This was a longer inpatient stay than my SCAD/Open heart surgery stay..
Home. Sweet home. --
God has an interesting way of testing our faith. To trust Him. To believe there is a plan for me. I continue to believe in hope for my eye. I know I can be angry. And Sad.. But then I remember it is only one eye. I can still hold my babies. Hug my husband. & love my life. Life must go on.
But go easy on me... it's hard to be Brave sometimes..
The support and love of friends, family and even distant acquaintances has blown me & my family away. The prayers and thoughts I got after my heart surgery almost 3 years ago now... was overwhelming, but everyone showed up. Again.. for us.
I'm speachless..
and beyond greatful. 💕 there really aren't words for me to express the notes, food, kind words, and words of encouragement. They mean everything to have such an army behind you during difficult times. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for showing up again. Everyone..
I will continue to have bad days. And good ones. And lots of in-between. I will hug my babies extra tight & love a little harder because I understand loss.. in many ways now.
I feel all the prayers & good thoughts, so please continue to pray.
Sending my love & gratitude,
Hannah💗
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